Body Language Awareness

After analyzing 1,000s of first impressions it’s clear: A first impression is made before you say a single word. And there are 3 mistakes costing you opportunities: For context, most people (especially introverts) want to believe their first impression starts when they start speaking. The science says otherwise: Someone decides if they like you, trust you or want to work with you, the moment they first see you - when you walk into a room, open a door, or even when someone looks at your profile picture. After analyzing thousands of first encounters, I've identified what I call the 'triple threat' of first impression mistakes that people unknowingly make: 1. Making yourself small: Tucking your arms close to your sides and hunching your shoulders signals low confidence and submissiveness. The less space you take up, the less powerful you appear. This is why waiting for your job interview or date while checking your phone is sabotaging you before you've said hello. Every time you look down at your device, you accidentally adopt what scientists call the 'universal defeat posture': - chin tucked - shoulders hunched - making yourself small In evolutionary terms, you literally look like a loser. (Yikes!) 2. Hiding your hands: When your hands are in pockets, under the table, or out of sight, it creates subconscious distrust. Evolutionarily, we need to see hands to feel safe and assess intentions. 3. Avoiding eye contact: We experience a chemical burst of oxytocin during direct eye contact, which increases trust and connection. Avoiding eye contact in those first few seconds prevents this critical bonding opportunity. Research shows these first impressions are lasting. If you've made a bad one, recovery is difficult - but not impossible if you practice the right body language. Instead, adopt the confident alternative: - keep your hands visible and expressive - take up appropriate space with good posture - make deliberate eye contact in the first few seconds Master these 3 elements and you'll create positive, accurate first impressions that open doors rather than close them.

You’re negotiating before you even say a word. Are your nonverbal cues helping or hurting you? Nonverbal cues are the real deal in negotiations. They’re not just decoration; they’re data that speaks louder than words. Your posture, eye contact, facial expressions, and pacing set the stage for how credible, safe, and collaborative you come across. Most leaders ignore these signals or overestimate their ability to read others. Big mistake. The safest rule is simple: treat body language as input to explore, not proof to act on. Your baseline posture sets the tone for the entire conversation.  An open stance, grounded feet, and steady breathing project calm authority, even when your stomach’s doing flips. Closed shoulders, restless movements, hiding hands? That sends signals of nervousness or defensiveness. And eye contact? Holding someone’s gaze for a few seconds shows presence without crossing into intimidation. Your face is another powerful layer. If your expression doesn’t match your words, trust erodes immediately. Showing genuine interest when they talk about what matters to them builds real rapport, way more than polished arguments. And if you have to say “no”? A calm, firm look protects your boundaries while keeping the relationship intact. Then there’s energy, the subtle, silent code. If your counterpart gets tense or animated, you don’t need to match their mood. Keeping a steady pace prevents escalation. Clothing and physical space also speak volumes about status and intent.  Looking intentional, not flashy, makes people more open to your proposals. When you combine these cues thoughtfully, you unlock clarity, reduce friction, and surface interests you wouldn’t see otherwise. So, what body language moment has unexpectedly shaped one of your negotiations? Remember, if body language speaks volumes, this post deserves a second read (and maybe a share).

Your body speaks before you do. Is it saying what you want it to? I learned this the hard way during a board meeting. I had the numbers, the plan, the perfect pitch. But I was fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, and shrinking into my chair. In return, I received a lot more questions than usual. Another leader pulled me aside after and said something that changed how I show up: "You know your stuff, but your body is telling a different story." They were right. I was undermining my own message. Over the years, I've watched leaders who command rooms without saying a word. They don't have magic powers. They understand that 55% of communication happens through body language. Here's what I've learned works: 👉 Eye contact builds trust. Look at people when they speak to you. Really look at them, and make a connection. 👉 Your posture tells your story. Stand like you belong there. Sit like you own the chair. Keep your arms open. 👉 Space matters. Read the room. Respect cultural norms. Find that sweet spot where you're engaged but not invading. 👉 Listen with your whole body. Nod with purpose. Welcome silence. Show that you're not just waiting for your turn to talk. 👉 Your voice carries weight. Pace yourself. Vary your tone. Project confidence even when you don't feel it yet. 👉 Let your face match your words. Show authentic emotion. If you're excited about an idea, let it show. If you're concerned, don't hide behind a poker face. 👉 Gesture with intent. Open palms signal trust. Measured movements emphasize key points. Your hands can reinforce what your words are trying to build. The truth is, I still catch myself sliding back into old habits. Last week, I realized I was crossing my arms during a meeting. But now I notice more. I adjust. I show up differently. Body language isn't about being perfect. It's about being present and intentional with how you connect. 💭 What's one body language habit you want to change? ♻️ Share this post if you know someone who needs to hear this message. 📌 Follow me (Jennifer Turnage) for more insights on authentic leadership and communication.

I once watched a candidate absolutely crush a job interview… and it wasn’t because of what he said. In fact, his answers were pretty normal. But his body language? That’s what made the difference. He walked into the room with this calm, grounded posture. Not stiff, not overly confident, just present. When he sat down, he took a slow breath, placed his hands on the table, and smiled like he was genuinely happy to be there. And here’s the interesting part: Before he even answered the first question, the hiring manager had already softened. Shoulders down. Smile up. Pen ready. It reminded me of something I see all the time: Most people prepare their words. Very few prepare their presence. During the interview, he kept steady eye contact, nodded when the recruiter talked, and used small, intentional gestures when explaining his ideas. Nothing forced. Nothing “technique-y.” Just clean, confident communication. And because his body was calm, his mind was calm. His answers flowed. His voice stayed steady. He looked like someone who could walk into a stressful day and still bring clarity. Meanwhile, I’ve seen brilliant candidates do the opposite, slouching, fidgeting, shrinking their presence, or rushing every sentence because their nervous system is in overdrive. Great content… lost in anxious delivery. Body language isn’t about “looking perfect.” It’s about helping your message land. So if you’re preparing for an interview, remember this: - Your posture affects your psychology. - Your breathing regulates your confidence. - Your eye contact builds trust. - Your gestures shape clarity. - Your presence speaks before you do. You don’t need to be someone else. You just need to show up in a way that supports your best self. And sometimes, the most powerful part of your communication… is the part you never say out loud. If you want more insights on body language, and how to stand out in interviews, follow me. I share practical tips that you can use immediately. Najla Tirabassi Longner Body Language & Human Behavior

Your Speech Can Lie—But Your Body Cannot: The Power of Nonverbal Communication In healthcare, education, and leadership, effective communication is more than choosing the right words. In fact, much of what we communicate—consciously or unconsciously—is expressed through nonverbal cues: posture, eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, and even silence. 💬 What You Say vs. What You Show Your mouth might say “I’m fine,” but your body, tone, and timing may whisper something very different. People often trust what they see and sense more than what they hear. In clinical practice, in the classroom, or at the meeting table—learning to see what is not being said can be just as important as hearing what is. 🧠 Why Nonverbal Communication Matters Understanding nonverbal cues helps us: • Read unspoken emotions • Detect tension or disengagement • Build trust and clarity • Prevent miscommunication • Align our intentions with our presence 🔍 Key Components of Nonverbal Communication • Facial Expressions: The most honest indicators of emotional state • Body Language (Kinesics): Posture, movement, gestures • Eye Contact (Oculesics): Signals trust, discomfort, confidence, or deception • Vocalics (Paralanguage): Tone, pitch, pace, volume • Proxemics: How we use space to express relationship and boundaries • Haptics: Touch as a form of support or power • Chronemics: The way we use and value time • Artifacts: What we wear, display, or carry—all speak on our behalf 👂 How to Listen Better—to Patients, Students, Colleagues, Bosses, and Yourself: • Pause and observe: Before reacting to words, pay attention to what is unsaid. Facial tension, restless hands, averted eyes—all carry meaning. • Ask open-ended questions: Create space for people to speak freely—and show you’re not rushing to fix or judge. • Mirror emotions mindfully: Empathetic responses often mean matching tone and body energy—not overpowering or retreating. • Validate before advising: Acknowledge the feeling before offering feedback. • Reflect inwardly: Your own body gives signals too—tight shoulders, shallow breathing, clenched jaw—are you anxious, impatient, disengaged? Listen to yourself before responding to others. ⚠️ Challenges in Interpretation • Cultural differences: Not all cues mean the same thing across contexts. • Individual expression styles: Some people are naturally animated, others more reserved. • Situational stress: What seems evasive may just be fatigue or overwhelm. ✨ Final Reflection Strong leaders, clinicians, and educators don’t just speak clearly—they listen deeply, even when nothing is said. They don’t just command attention—they give attention. And the most powerful form of communication is often silent: a knowing look, a calm presence, a moment of shared understanding. Let your awareness be louder than your voice. Let your attention be the language you use to connect.

What Hand Gestures Reveal in High-Stakes Negotiations This time, I won’t be focusing on the negotiation tools, tactics, or strategies I often write about. Instead, I want to draw your attention to something just as important: body language. Take a close look at this photo of two world leaders. At first glance, they look almost identical. Both are seated, both in dark suits with red ties, both with hands positioned in front of them. But appearances can be deceiving. Their hands — and more importantly, their whole-body language — tell two very different stories. The Surface Similarity The hand positions look nearly the same. That’s what makes this comparison interesting. Because the difference isn’t in the placement — it’s in the tension, quality, and posture behind it. The Controlled Gesture On the left, the hands rest loosely, fingers touching gently, almost forming a downward steeple. This is a grounding gesture: calm, deliberate, and composed. The relaxed fingers and open posture signal patience and self-control. Supported by upright shoulders, it projects confidence and balance. The Tense Gesture On the right, the hands are clasped tightly, fingers interlaced, knuckles pressing outward. This is a tension gesture, often linked with stress, frustration, or defensiveness. Interlocked fingers act as a form of self-soothing, a way to “hold it together.” Add in the forward-leaning posture and tightened shoulders, and the whole body communicates pressure and unease. The Whole-Body Picture This is where context matters. Hands alone tell part of the story, but when combined with posture, breathing, and muscle tension, the signals become clear: One individual says: I’m in control. The other says: I’m under strain. The Lesson for Negotiators Body language rarely lies. While words can be rehearsed, the body often reveals what’s really happening beneath the surface. For a SMARTnership negotiator, the key isn’t to exploit these signals. It’s to use them as insight. If my counterpart is calm and controlled, I may need to shift strategy to open the conversation. If they’re tense and defensive, it’s a sign to slow down, reduce pressure, and explore where hidden value (NegoEconomics) can be unlocked. Where a competitive negotiator might see weakness, a SMARTnership negotiator sees an opportunity to build trust, create transparency, and generate stronger results for both sides. Because negotiation isn’t just about the words on the table. It’s about the signals in the room — and what we choose to do with them. When my book 'Positive Impact' was initially released, it was honored with the title Management Book of the Year. The book explored how trust, transparency, and communication create influence and impact — and a central theme was body language. https://a.co/d/cRULOdR #negotiation #bodylanguage SMARTnership Negotiation World Commerce & Contracting BMI Executive Institute UCLouvain I BMI Executive Institute

"Be more assertive in meetings." If you’ve ever received this feedback, you know how tough it is. Especially if you’re an introvert who doesn’t interrupt or feel it’s your place. I was coaching an exec dealing with this exact sticking point. I said, “You’ve gotten this feedback. Let’s talk about what you want to do with it.” A priority for me is to always look at my clients holistically (who are you BEYOND the walls/screens of work). Knowing she had a teenage daughter, I asked this leader to role-play a conversation with her daughter about cleaning her room. She started gently: “Sweetheart, I really would love for you to clean your room. It would make our lives more calm and peaceful...” (you get the picture). I had her pause and imagine it was the fifth time she asked. She began again, “Honey, I really wish you’d...” I stopped her, asked, “Is that true to who you are on weekends? Do you calmly ask for the fifth time or bring up a different character?” She laughed. “No, that’s totally not true.” So, I asked her to show me the real scenario. Suddenly, she’s chopping her hands through the air: “Young lady, I need you to get off the couch, up the stairs, and clean your room right. now. I do NOT want to see you back downstairs until your room is CLEAN.” Boom. Who was THAT? “That,” she said, “was my 'Mom' voice.” Aha. She had the ability to turn on a concise, direct conversation style... she just wasn't used to bringing it to work with her. And the style, it started with a firm movement of her hands. She wasn’t even aware of the hand motion. But that was the tool she needed to embody a more assertive self. Now, when this client needs to be precise and direct, she starts with that hand movement. It cues her body into an assertive character without overthinking every word. Key takeaway: Using body language as a cue can bypass the overactive brain, tapping into characters that already exist within you. One of your Authentic Selves. So, use your body. Practice in front of a camera. Notice what works and eliminate what doesn’t. Your body language can unlock new ways to express assertiveness and confidence. There is more to you than meets the eye. Figure out WHO in YOU you can tap into to become who you need to be. #Leadership #ExecutiveCoaching #Assertiveness #BodyLanguage #ProfessionalDevelopment #Authenticity

The leader leaned forward on the table, clicky pen posed to write, his legs crossed at the ankles, and said, “Kerri, this is the body language I’d most often have when starting a conversation. I feel comfortable. Can I do what feels natural?” He was in a coaching presence pilot I’m running and we had just reviewed body language - specifically the body language they’d use at the beginning of a coaching conversation. I moved a chair across from him, imagining he was my leader and how his body language would make me feel. I said, “Your body is giving me the impression you’re ready to solve a problem. And my sense is that you’d solve it for me, maybe not with me. So, if I was your employee and I had a technical or strategic problem, I might like tour body language. But if I’ve been called in for a coaching call, I don’t feel at ease. I don’t feel there is space or time for me to reflect or figure things out for myself. I’d take your physical cue and start brainstorming or solving, instead of reflecting and exploring. Now, if you uncrossed your legs, dropped the pen, and sat a little more back and asked me a question, I’d be open. And if the conversation got to a problem solving mode, and you moved forward to this gesture, I’d know you were right beside me to figure things out.” When you study leader body language, remember it’s okay to change your body to match the intention of the message. So, the start of a coaching call or presentation may look and feel physically different as you get into things. That starting gesture impacts the initial tone. Try this for yourself. Imagine you’re going to start a coaching conversation. What does your body naturally do? Do the gesture infront of some trusted advisers and peers. Ask them, “How does this gesture make you feel?” The places that make the most impact is feet placement, posture, the hands, and your eyes. Play with switching those up. The hard part is making it feel natural. So once you’ve learned how to adapt the body slightly, try assuming that pose more often until it feels natural. That will set you, and the coachee, at ease for a possibly transformative coaching conversation. #leadershipdevelopment #leaderpresence #careerstories

This week’s soft skill is often ignored, but always powerful: Reading non-verbal cues with empathy, not assumption. Most of us notice body language. Few of us truly understand it. A colleague goes quiet in a meeting, Are they disinterested, or simply overwhelmed? A manager folds their arms, Are they angry, or just thinking? An employee avoids eye contact, Are they shy, or do they not feel safe yet? Here’s the truth: Body language is not a fact, it’s a signal. And signals need empathy, not judgment. When you read cues with empathy: – Conversations feel safer – Conflicts de-escalate – Trust deepens A simple practice to try: Notice the cue. Name it without labeling. Nudge gently with curiosity. Because workplaces don’t just run on words. They run on pauses, silences, and tone. P.S. Next time you see a cue, don’t conclude. Check in, and choose empathy. #SoftSkillsMatter #NonVerbalCommunication #LeadershipDevelopment #EmpathyAtWork

Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt someone’s energy, even before they said a word? That feeling comes from body language, the silent but powerful way we communicate without speaking. I was reminded of this in a workshop we ran for senior managers from a pension services company. It focused on giving constructive feedback using the SBI framework, which stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact. The participants had clearly prepared. Their wording was sharp and their structure was sound. On paper, it looked excellent. But as the practice conversations unfolded, something felt off. Their words said one thing, while their bodies told another story. Eyes drifted away. Fingers fidgeted. Legs trembled under the table. One person kept snapping his fingers and thumbs out of nervousness. A few had slouched shoulders & dry lips. Even though they were using the SBI model correctly, the people receiving feedback did not feel reassured. The nonverbal cues revealed discomfort, hesitation, and fear. That experience reminded me of an interview panel I sat on a few years earlier. The first candidate walked in with shoulders slightly hunched, eyes avoiding contact, and hands that would not settle. He answered every question well, yet the confidence he described never appeared. Then another candidate came in. She held her head up, smiled gently, & used natural gestures. The room felt different from the moment she entered. Her presence conveyed calm & connection long before she spoke. It was a clear lesson that our bodies often speak before our mouths do. Body language is more than posture or hand gestures. It shows up in the rhythm of our breathing when we are anxious, in tiny expressions that flicker across our faces, & in the way we mirror someone when we feel in sync. It is the unseen thread that connects people beyond words. In leadership, that thread matters a great deal. A manager can say, I value your contribution, but if their arms are crossed, their tone is flat, or their eyes are on a screen, the words land as hollow. On the other hand, steady eye contact, an open posture, a calm tone, & a simple nod can make difficult feedback feel fair and supportive. When nonverbal signals match intent, communication becomes connection. The encouraging news is that body language can be practiced & strengthened. Standing with a grounded posture, facing people fully when you speak, keeping your arms uncrossed, making kind eye contact, & offering a sincere smile can change how others perceive you and how you feel about yourself. Confidence & warmth have a way of spreading. Reading body language matters as much as expressing it. A pause, a shift in posture, a quick glance away are meaningful cues. When we notice those signals and respond with empathy, conversations move from information exchange to genuine understanding. So next time you are in a meeting, pause for a moment & notice the unspoken stories around you. #nyraleadershipconsulting