Leading With Authenticity

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

"Black women aren't just doing their jobs. They're performing an exhausting one-woman show where the script changes daily." Let me break down what Black women navigate in professional spaces: We don't just choose our words. We filter them through a racial-gender matrix. We don't just speak. We modulate our tone to avoid the "angry" label. We don't just gesture. We control our hand movements to appear "non-threatening." We don't just dress. We calculate every outfit to seem "professional enough." We don't just style our hair. We make political decisions with each hairstyle. This isn't paranoia—it's strategic survival: When we speak directly, we're "aggressive" When we show emotion, we're "unprofessional" When we assert boundaries, we're "difficult" When we seek recognition, we're "entitled" When we express frustration, we're "hostile" The mental load is crushing: • Constantly scanning environments for potential hostility • Preparing responses to microaggressions before they happen • Developing thick skin while remaining "approachable" • Achieving twice as much while appearing humble • Advocating for ourselves without triggering stereotypes Research shows this hypervigilance takes a measurable toll: Black women experience higher rates of stress-related health conditions Black women report the highest levels of "bringing their full selves" to work Black women face the most severe career penalties for authentic self-expression Black women spend more mental energy on workplace navigation than any other group For those working alongside Black women, here are research-backed ways to help: 1. Amplify Black women's ideas and give proper credit 2. Interrupt when you witness tone-policing or stereotyping 3. Question double standards in evaluation and feedback 4. Create space for authentic expression without penalties 5. Recognise the invisible labour Black women perform daily 📢 When they expect us to carry the world, we choose rest 📢 The Black Woman's Rest Revolution offers: ✨ Black women therapists who understand workplace navigation ✨ Bi-weekly healing circles for processing code-switching fatigue ✨ Expert guidance through professional double standards ✨ Global sisterhood that honors our authentic selves Limited spots available Join our revolution: [Link in comments] ⚠️ Check your spam folder for confirmation Because we deserve workplaces where our expertise matters more than our tone. Because our brilliance shouldn't require constant repackaging. Because our professional value shouldn't depend on our likability. #BlackWomenAtWork #WorkplaceNavigation #ProfessionalAuthenticity #RestIsRevolution P.S. I help Black women heal from workplace abuse & racial trauma through revolutionary rest. 📸 Collaboration between Sarah_akinterwa & leaningorg on IG

𝗜 𝗪𝗮𝘀 𝗢𝗯𝘀𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱. 𝗜𝘁 𝗞𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗠𝘆 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀. In my first few months of working, I had one silent goal: be the person everyone liked. I avoided saying no. I took on extra work even when I was overloaded. I stayed agreeable, quiet, and helpful, always trying to be the person who never caused a problem. People appreciated me for being “easy to work with.” But over time, I started noticing something. The people who challenged ideas got invited to the bigger discussions. The ones who spoke with clarity, even if they disagreed, were seen as confident, capable, and leadership material. Meanwhile, I stayed in the background, liked, but not respected. It hit me hard. Being liked had come at the cost of being taken seriously. So I started changing how I showed up: I asked questions. I disagreed, respectfully. I didn’t say yes to everything. And I stopped shrinking myself just to stay “liked.” Not everyone was thrilled. But the right people noticed. And that's what mattered. 💡 Here’s what I’ve learned: 🔹 Being liked feels good, but being respected opens doors. 🔹 You can be kind and firm. The two aren’t opposites. 🔹 Saying “yes” to everyone often means saying “no” to your own growth. 🔹 Respect is built when you speak with clarity, not when you always agree. 🔹 Leadership isn’t about being liked by all, it’s about being trusted by the right ones. LinkedIn LinkedIn News India #CareerGrowth #RespectOverApproval #WorkplaceLessons #ProfessionalGrowth #EarlyCareerAdvice #LinkedInForYoungProfessionals #Storytime

A concept that came up in coaching yesterday was the double-bind. I've spoken previously about the glass cliff, the glass ceiling, and similar terms that are helpful in giving language to inequities faced by women & women of colour in the workplace. As someone who has been labelled as 'combative' by a previous manager, it's exhausting & frustrating AF trying to navigate layers of unspoken expectations and biases while striving to remain true to oneself and succeed professionally. The double bind for women of colour is where they encounter conflicting demands or expectations that place them in a no-win situation. Here are some ways this shows up - 🎤 Assertiveness vs. Likability: there is a risk of being perceived as aggressive or abrasive. This can sometimes lead to unfair backlash that other colleagues may not face. On the other hand, if one chooses to be more reserved to avoid negative perceptions, they may seem to struggle showcasing their leadership qualities. 🎤 Professionalism vs. Authenticity: Bringing your 'whole selves' to work and highlighting cultural identities is encouraged, but this can sometimes result in facing microaggressions, tokenism or feeling like one doesn't quite fit in with the company's culture. On the flip side, downplaying cultural identity to fit in may leave them feeling disconnected and inauthentic, impacting their job satisfaction and performance. 🎤 Competence vs. Approachability: In a predominantly white or male-dominated work environment, the pressure to prove competence while also being approachable can be overwhelming. While showcasing high competence is essential, it can inadvertently intimidate colleagues (aka tall poppy syndrome) and lead to social isolation. On the other hand, focusing on being approachable and accommodating may undervalue their competence, causing them to miss out on career opportunities. 🎤 Diversity Advocate vs. Professional Identity: women of color are often expected to take on this role (often unpaid) in the workplace. This can sometimes overshadow their professional skills and career aspirations. Striking a balance between advocating for diversity and focusing on their career path can be a difficult task, as they may face criticism for not fully embracing the role. 🎤 Visibility vs. Scrutiny: The yardstick is not the same for women in leadership! While being visible is important for serving as role models, it can also subject them to higher levels of scrutiny and criticism compared to their peers. This increased scrutiny may lead them to avoid visibility, resulting in missed opportunities for career advancement. Have you faced similar experiences? How did you navigate the same? #GenderEquality #Inclusion #genderEquity #InclusionAtWork #InclusiveWorkplaces #DoubleBind #WomenOfColour

🧾 The cost of being seen isn’t the same for everyone. For women, it’s a "Surchage" no one talks about. 👩 Take Ling, a regional sales director. When she speaks up in strategy meetings, she’s told to “be mindful of her tone.” When she stays quiet, she’s labeled “not strategic enough.” It’s not a leadership gap. It’s a cost-benefit calculation, rigged against her. 👩 Meet Rina, a product lead. She’s built three go-to-market launches. Each one a success. But when promotion time comes, her boss says: “You’re doing great. Let’s not disrupt the team dynamic.” Her competence became the excuse to keep her contained. 👩 And then there’s Julia, a COO candidate. She’s been asked to mentor the next generation of women leaders. But no one’s sponsoring her to be the next CEO. 👉 Because championing others is celebrated. Championing yourself gets complicated. But the problem is, the system charges women extra for the power move: • Speak up? Pay the “too aggressive” tax. • Stay humble? Pay the “forgettable” fee. • Stay silent? Pay with your career.    ⚙️ So how do you stop overpaying for power? You fix it by changing the cost structure. Here are 4 strategic power moves to change the terms: 1️⃣ 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲. Most women try to optimize for comfort: "How can I be visible without making anyone uncomfortable?" Wrong question. Ask: "What does this room need to believe about me to attach power to my name?" Then behave in a way that enforces that belief, consistently! 2️⃣ 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗩𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗘𝗳𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁. Workhorses get thanked. Strategists get promoted. Shift the conversation from "how hard you worked" to "what changed because of you." Make people dependent on your thinking, not your labor. 3️⃣ 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘁, 𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺. When women lead, people often don’t know how to process it. So they fill in the blanks, with assumptions. Don’t let the room guess. Tell them why you’re doing what you’re doing. Say 👉 "I’m recommending this because it moves us closer to the long-term goal." 👉 "I’m raising this because keeping quiet will cost us more later." 4️⃣ 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗼𝗼𝗺’𝘀 𝗠𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘆, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. Decisions about you happen in rooms you’re not in. Those rooms won’t remember your to-do list, they’ll remember the shortcut version of you. Make sure the phrase people repeat about you is a power narrative, not a service narrative. Keen to own your narrative? 📅 Join our online workshop on July 24th 7:30 to 9pm SGT 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 👉 https://lnkd.in/gVT2Y59Q 👈 For women who are done paying extra just to be in the room. 👊 Because if you keep paying the power tax quietly, you’ll be subsidizing other people’s promotions forever.

Do you ever feel like you're constantly comparing yourself to others on social media? Ever wonder if there's a better way to measure your worth and find happiness? Understanding and securing your identity is essential. If you don't stand firm in who you are, you might always feel like you're falling short compared to others. Social media makes it easy to see only the best bits of everyone's lives, which can make us feel less successful or happy. Here’s a simpler, more empowering approach: • Know Yourself: Take the time to understand your core values and what really matters to you. This isn't just about knowing what you like but understanding why certain things resonate with you. • Build Your Foundation: Strong self-awareness helps you use social media as a tool for connection rather than a benchmark for self-worth. You can admire others' highlights without feeling less about your own achievements. • Set Clear Priorities: Focus on what’s important to you. Develop skills that align with your values, choose mentors who really help you grow, and ignore distractions that don't serve your goals. • Choose Wisely: Pick influences and mentors that support your growth and align with your values, not just those who are popular. This is your moment to start. Build that strong core of self-awareness today. Understand your values, set your priorities, and follow your path without the pressure to compare. Remember, true fulfillment comes from living true to yourself, not imitating someone else.

"We are not perfect, nor should we pretend to be, but it is necessary to be the best version of ourselves we can be." Here are three short ways to apply this in your own life: 1) Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: Instead of hiding or feeling ashamed of your imperfections, view them as chances to grow. For example, if you miss a work deadline, don’t pretend it didn’t happen—acknowledge it, apologize if needed, and identify how to manage your time better next time. This helps you improve without the pressure of perfection. 2) Set Realistic Goals for Self-Improvement: Focus on progress by setting small, achievable goals that align with your values. If you want to be more patient, practice deep breathing during stressful moments or commit to listening fully before responding in conversations. Celebrate incremental growth rather than aiming for flawless behavior. 3) Be Authentic in Relationships: Stop pretending to have it all together and share your true self with others. If you’re struggling with a challenge, like feeling overwhelmed, admit it to a friend or loved one. This vulnerability fosters deeper connections and allows you to focus on becoming a better version of yourself through honest support and feedback. Moving Forward... This quote encapsulates a philosophy of self-acceptance and personal growth. It acknowledges the inherent imperfection of humanity—our flaws, mistakes, and limitations—while rejecting the pressure to hide them. Pretending to be perfect often stems from societal expectations or fear of judgment, but this facade can lead to inauthenticity, stress, and disconnection. Instead, the quote encourages embracing our imperfections as a natural part of being human, fostering vulnerability and genuine self-expression.

If you're in a male-dominated field, you've probably heard: “You have to work twice as hard.” But hard work alone isn't enough. Here's what actually helps you thrive 👇 1️⃣ Own your expertise, don't wait for validation. Many women hesitate to speak up until they feel 100% qualified. Men don't wait, they take space. 👉 Instead of saying: “I think this might work,” say: “Based on my experience, this is the best approach.” Confidence isn't about knowing everything, it's about backing what you do know. 2️⃣ Build a powerful inner circle. Success isn't a solo game. You need allies, not just colleagues. 👉 Find mentors who challenge you. Build relationships with decision-makers. Collaborate with women in your industry. Your circle shapes your opportunities. 3️⃣ Speak up even when it's uncomfortable. Being the only woman in the room can feel intimidating, but silence isn't an option. 👉 Prepare talking points before meetings. Challenge ideas with facts. If interrupted, reclaim your time: "Hold on, I’d love to finish my thought before we move on." Your voice isn’t optional. It’s necessary. 4️⃣ Negotiate without apologizing. Women tend to ask for opportunities. Men often expect them. It’s time to change that. 👉 Don’t say, “Would it be okay if I got a raise?” Say, “Based on my results, I’d like a pay adjustment.” You don’t owe gratitude for fair pay. You deserve it. 5️⃣ Turn bias into strategy. Reality check: bias exists. But you can make it work for you. 👉 If you’re underestimated, surprise them with results. If you’re labeled too ambitious, own it and deliver. If you’re not invited to the table, pull up your own chair. Let bias fuel your success, not block it. 6️⃣ Elevate other women. True success isn’t about thriving alone, it’s about opening doors for others. 👉 Recommend women for leadership roles. Acknowledge their ideas in meetings. Advocate for fair policies. When women support women, industries shift. ✨ Thriving isn’t about fitting in, it’s about standing strong in who you are and making space for others to rise with you. How do you make your voice heard? 💬 #WomenInLeadership #CareerGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #Empowerment #CareerAdvice

Somewhere along the way, many women — myself included — were handed an unspoken rule: Be kind. Be accommodating. Be agreeable. Be likable. It wasn’t always said outright. It was taught in glances, in praises for being “sweet,” in subtle nods of approval when we kept the peace at the cost of our own voice. And so many of us grew up carrying this invisible weight: The urge to soften our opinions. The instinct to prioritize harmony over honesty. The fear that if we said too much, asked for too much, or simply were too much, we might lose connection, approval, or love. But what happens when we begin to outgrow that conditioning? What happens when a woman chooses to speak with clarity, to set boundaries, to honor her own needs without apology? Often, resistance follows. Sometimes from others, sometimes from the quieter parts within ourselves that are still wired to believe that being liked is a form of survival. Yet every time we choose authenticity over approval, we do more than rewrite our own story — We break the cycle. Because unless we question it, we risk passing this invisible script down to the next generation, just as it was handed to us. Unknowingly, unintentionally. Through our words, our silences, our examples. When we choose to own our voice today, we create a new possibility for tomorrow — For daughters, for sons, for every young person watching what strength can look like. The more women learn to uncouple their worth from others’ approval, the more powerful we become — not in a loud, aggressive way, but in a quiet, unshakable way. We come as one. But we stand as a thousand. And maybe, just maybe, the greatest gift we can give ourselves — and those who come after us — is permission to be fully seen, whether or not everyone claps. The courage to be seen fully is the legacy we leave behind. #pedalon #ownyourvoice

Some of the worst advice out there... not only can you smell it a mile away, but it actually sets you back more than in propels you forward. “Fake It Till You Make It." The mentality might seem harmless... or even empowering. but here’s the truth: it’s a strategy that holds you back in the long run. When we rely on posturing or “faking it,” we create temporary value... a shaky foundation that breeds uncertainty and self-doubt over time. This approach can chip away at genuine confidence, leaving you second-guessing your abilities rather than embracing your true strengths. If you’re “kind of” believing in what you can do, it will lead to “kind of” results. And let’s be honest: no one invests in that. Here’s a path that builds lasting impact and real credibility: 1. Embrace Where You Are Right Now. Actionable Step: List out the top 3 strengths you bring to the table today. Focus on where you already add value. Use this clarity as your guide when you’re in new or challenging situations. This way, you’re building on a solid, authentic foundation... not pretending to be somewhere you’re not. Starting with a clear view of your strengths gives you a confidence rooted in reality... and equips you to approach each opportunity with authenticity. 2. Get Clear on Your Unique Value. Actionable Step: Identify one specific problem you can solve that aligns with your skills and expertise. Write it down in one sentence (e.g., “I help teams bridge strategy and execution gaps to drive measurable results.”). Use this as a go-to when you’re speaking with potential clients or partners. This clarity around your value will set you apart, making it easier for others to see why they should work with you... not just anyone who fits the role. 3. Bridge Your Gaps Authentically. Actionable Step: Acknowledge a skill or area you’re actively developing. Take one concrete action toward growth each week... whether that’s: - reading - building relationships - mentoring Share this journey with trusted colleagues or clients... without underselling yourself... so they experience your commitment to excellence and your drive to evolve. Owning both your strengths and areas for growth builds long-term credibility and shows others that you’re committed to being the best version of yourself. It’s how true leaders inspire and foster trust. And trust accelerates EVERYTHING.