Managing Perfectionism in Leadership

🧗The higher you climb, the more perfectionism stops looking like rigor and starts looking like hesitation. Vanessa was a senior VP in a global tech company. Her launches were pristine, no bugs, no escalations, market share climbing. She believed rigor would earn trust: "If I double-check the numbers, if I present the airtight case, the board will know I’m ready for CEO." The board said it differently: “She’s cautious.” “She doesn’t move until everything is locked down.” “In this seat, we need someone who makes the call with 70% of the facts. Waiting costs us more than a wrong bet.” Her male peer, who had already made two high-profile missteps, was still described as “decisive” and “willing to take the heat.” When Vanessa heard the feedback, her gut reaction was brutal: "So all these years I spent being perfect counted for nothing?!?!" 🧠 Because women like Vanessa were raised to believe mistakes prove you’re unworthy. Boys were told, “Go try, you’ll figure it out.” We were told, “Be careful, don’t get it wrong.” That muscle memory doesn’t disappear, and at the C-suite, it works against you. 🚨 At senior levels, you’re no longer evaluated on output. You’re evaluated on your relationship to risk. A man who makes a bad call is “bold.” A woman who delays making a call is “not ready.” So how do you unlearn the habit? • 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗽.”   Notice when you’re stalling because you want validation. Instead of polishing the slide deck, ask: What’s the decision I’m avoiding by perfecting this deck? Force the decision first, polish later.    • 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗿𝗲𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆.   You don’t build credibility by being right. You build it by showing how fast you adjust when you’re wrong.    • 𝗦𝗵𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲.   At the top, only 5–7 people shape your trajectory. Know who they are. Stop performing for everyone else.    • 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗸 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗱.    Keep a private log of your calls, mistakes, and recoveries. Proof that the world doesn’t collapse when you move before you’re ready.    ⚖️ Perfectionism isn’t harmless. It’s a survival habit taught young, get it right or you don’t belong, that becomes dangerous when leadership shifts from doing things right to deciding which things matter. 🚀 Our 2025 From Hidden Talent to Visible Leaders cohort is sold out - only 5 VIP 1 on 1 seats remain, DM me if you’d like to explore whether it’s a fit for you. 👊 Because these conversations at the C-level don’t resolve with “tips.” They require dialogue, someone who can hear the hesitation in your voice, challenge the stories you’ve inherited, and sit with you as you decide faster, bolder, with conviction.

In 2020: I broke down when the pandemic hit In 2023: I broke down because my startup was not growing at the speed I expected A lot of times we break down but this theory in Japan made me feel really optimistic and motivated. In Japan, when something breaks, it doesn’t get discarded. They embrace the imperfections by repairing the broken parts with gold. If a child accidentally drops a piece of pottery, the reaction isn’t anger or frustration. Instead, the pieces are gathered and taken to an artist skilled in kintsugi. It is the art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powdered gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, the golden seams highlight them, turning the broken object into something even more beautiful and valuable. This approach is a powerful metaphor for life. Instead of trying to erase our mistakes, failures, or challenges, we can embrace them and use them to grow stronger. Here are some lessons we can learn from kintsugi and how they apply to both our personal and professional lives: 📌 Embrace your imperfections: In life and business, setbacks are inevitable. Instead of hiding our flaws, we should acknowledge and embrace them. Our imperfections tell a story of resilience and growth. 📌 Turn setbacks into strengths: Just like the gold seams in kintsugi make the pottery stronger and more beautiful, our challenges and setbacks can become the very thing that makes us stronger. 📌 Every scar has a story: The highlighted cracks remind us that our personal and professional scars are part of our journey. They tell a story of perseverance, hard work, and growth. 📌 Don’t fear breaking: Life will be hard at times, and that’s okay. The key is not to fear failure but to see it as an opportunity to rebuild. Remember, when we come out on the other side, we’re always stronger and more capable. In the end, kintsugi isn’t just about fixing broken objects. It’s a reminder that broken things can still be beautiful. So promise yourself today that whenever life breaks us, you will always come out stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever. When you face setbacks how do you turn your challenges into growth opportunities? #kintsugi #lifelessons #strength #resilience 

I keep coming across it, again and again. Talented women with valuable ideas who avoid opportunities to present. Not because they are underprepared. Or because they lack expertise or English fluency. Because of perfectionism.   And it’s hurting their career path. So what’s the solution?   Based on my own journey with perfectionism and my coaching experience, here are 3 essential takeaways I can share: 🔸 the first is obvious: perfectionism isn’t who we are. We don’t need to fix ourselves, we’re not broken. 🔸 perfectionist patterns are THOUGHT habits. And thoughts, just like habits, don’t have to decide how we feel or act. We can strengthen our ability to step back, see them for what they are and choose to do differently. 🔸 we need to channel our healthy instincts for excellence in a different direction, so that they act as BOOSTERS rather than barriers. What do I mean by “boosters”? Here are 2 boosters my clients and I focus on systematically to ensure that raising the bar doesn’t mean lower visibility in their English presentations:   1/ STRATEGIC preparation and FLEXIBLE practice ✔ Preparing with intention: having a solid system of mindful questions that act as a compass for impact as well as contribution and certainty (2 human needs). ✔ Practicing in a way that reduces nerves and increases presence: by focusing on the message, key ideas and bridges between them, rather than memorizing words.   In short, our focus is on SPOTLIGHTING, STORYLINING and SECURING rather than scripting. They help our message and our brain to breathe. 2/ LESS focus on speaking without MISTAKES and MORE focus on shaping MOMENTS We turn the focus away from perfect English towards meaningful moments. Moments that create mindshifts. You know the ones I mean: the nods, smiles, lean-ins, thoughtful gazes. Thanks to human stories, analogies, examples, emotional signposting….     In summary, the message for all you multi-talented international leaders out there, on your path forward from perfectionism, is this: - you DON'T have to drop your love for quality or desire for deep care. - the key instead is to REDIRECT those high standards into your preparation and presence so that you and your message leave the dent they deserve. That's how we adjust the telescope of our mind. From impossibility to possibility. From silence to impact.   “Wisdom comes with winters.” - Oscar Wilde Let’s not forget that these last few weeks of the year have the power to make it our best year yet. What will you be focusing on in December?   -------------------------------------------------- Hi, I’m Kelly. I help transform Multilingual “Good Girls” into BaD Leaders (bold and daring) at work. 2 ways to work with me: 🔸 Communication Skills Sessions for impactful presentations, meetings & interviews 🔸 Single “Clarity” Sessions for BaD Mindset or Strategy Boosts #businessenglish #presentations #leadership #perfectionism

"We are not perfect, nor should we pretend to be, but it is necessary to be the best version of ourselves we can be." Here are three short ways to apply this in your own life: 1) Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: Instead of hiding or feeling ashamed of your imperfections, view them as chances to grow. For example, if you miss a work deadline, don’t pretend it didn’t happen—acknowledge it, apologize if needed, and identify how to manage your time better next time. This helps you improve without the pressure of perfection. 2) Set Realistic Goals for Self-Improvement: Focus on progress by setting small, achievable goals that align with your values. If you want to be more patient, practice deep breathing during stressful moments or commit to listening fully before responding in conversations. Celebrate incremental growth rather than aiming for flawless behavior. 3) Be Authentic in Relationships: Stop pretending to have it all together and share your true self with others. If you’re struggling with a challenge, like feeling overwhelmed, admit it to a friend or loved one. This vulnerability fosters deeper connections and allows you to focus on becoming a better version of yourself through honest support and feedback. Moving Forward... This quote encapsulates a philosophy of self-acceptance and personal growth. It acknowledges the inherent imperfection of humanity—our flaws, mistakes, and limitations—while rejecting the pressure to hide them. Pretending to be perfect often stems from societal expectations or fear of judgment, but this facade can lead to inauthenticity, stress, and disconnection. Instead, the quote encourages embracing our imperfections as a natural part of being human, fostering vulnerability and genuine self-expression.

You have two choices: Chase perfection or embrace your humanity. Most people choose the first option. They hide their flaws, suppress their emotions, and strive for an impossible standard of “having it all together.” But perfection is a moving target. The more you chase it, the further it slips away. I’ve seen people exhaust themselves trying to appear flawless—curating the perfect life, avoiding vulnerability, and fearing judgment—only to feel disconnected, anxious, and alone. Take someone like Sindhutai Sapkal, for example. Born into poverty and abandoned by her family, she faced extreme adversity—including homelessness and social rejection. Yet, instead of breaking down or chasing societal validation, she cared for orphaned children, becoming a mother to over a thousand. She didn’t live a “perfect” life by any standard—but her imperfections, struggles, and relentless love made her extraordinary. The reality is connection happens when you show up as your real self, not your perfect self. Here’s what works: ✅ Accept your imperfections. They’re not flaws—they’re signs you’re human. ✅ Be authentic. People relate to honesty, not perfection. ✅ Share your struggles. Vulnerability builds trust and belonging. ✅ Let go of control. Life isn’t meant to be flawless—it’s meant to be felt. ✅ Show compassion—to yourself and others. We’re all doing our best. The choice is always yours: Be real now or keep chasing a perfection that doesn’t exist. #ImperfectlyHuman #AuthenticityMatters #EmbraceYourJourney #RealNotPerfect #HumanFirst #CoachSharath #Bradfordinternationalalliance

Have you ever felt that “if it’s not perfect, it’s not worth doing”? If yes, you’re not alone. Perfectionism might look like high standards, But often it’s a silent roadblock; keeping us stuck, second-guessing, and delaying opportunities. Here’s the truth I’ve seen over and over again in my journey: ✅ Perfection is an illusion. ✅ Progress is what creates growth. ✅ Authenticity is what builds true confidence. When we set unrealistic standards, we put ourselves in a loop of “not enough” thinking. The result? Missed chances, burnout, and a constant feeling of inadequacy. The shift happens when we let go of perfection and embrace progress.   👉That presentation doesn’t need to be flawless, it needs to connect.   👉That LinkedIn post doesn’t need to be literary genius, it needs to be authentic.   👉That career step doesn’t need every answer figured out, it just needs courage. The people who move ahead are not the ones who do everything “perfectly,” But the ones who dare to show up, imperfectly, yet consistently. If you’ve been holding yourself back! Ask ➡️ What’s one small step I can take today, even if it’s not perfect? Struggling with perfectionism? DM me, I’d love to share ways to help you move past it. #ConfidenceCoaching #MindsetMatters #OvercomingPerfectionism #Authenticity #CareerGrowth

Perfectionism is a progress killer.⁣ ⁣ And as a high-achieving woman in a male-dominated industry, I know how much you pride yourself on precision, productivity, and high standards.⁣ ⁣ It’s likely one of the reasons you struggle to delegate you wish you could duplicate yourself just to get things done right.⁣ ⁣ But here’s the truth about life and leadership: humans are involved.⁣ ⁣ And it’s your reaction to human imperfections whether your own or someone else’s that drains your mental energy and slows your momentum.⁣ ⁣ Perfectionism doesn’t just stall your growth it stalls your team’s too.⁣ ⁣ Because if you're anxious about making mistakes, hesitant to take action, or constantly over-polishing your work, that’s exactly what you're modeling to your people.⁣ ⁣ You're teaching them to second-guess, hesitate, and fear failure.⁣ ⁣ But leadership isn’t about being flawless. It’s about being resilient, adaptable, and human.⁣ ⁣ So here’s your shift, mujer:⁣ ⁣ ✨ Strive for excellence but stop demanding perfection.⁣ ⁣ ✨ Be patient with your process so your people learn to grow through theirs.⁣ ⁣ ✨ Be curious about mistakes, not critical.⁣ ⁣ Because when you loosen your grip on perfection, you unlock confidence, creativity, and a deeper sense of joy in the work you do.⁣ ⁣ And that’s when real leadership happens.⁣

Feedback: Externally you nod. Internally you unravel. When the Perfectionist takes over, the Inner Critic rides shotgun. You've been praised for how well you "take feedback." "You're so calm, so receptive." But if they could hear the storm inside your mind; the spinning, the self-questioning. It might sound more like a breakdown than a breakthrough. You nod politely. But inside? Every suggestion is a stinger. Every comment becomes, "I'm not good enough." That's because feedback breaks the rules of the Perfectionist. And when it does, the Inner Critic steps in to tell you off, to ensure it never happens again. When you hear that critical voice over and over, you start to feel like a victim to your own internal rhetoric. On the Women in STEM Career & Confidence podcast, Dr Kat Fish cracked this exact pattern open. She was the go-to person to get things done. High-performing, hyper-responsible, never allowed to drop a ball. But beneath the surface? Anxiety, self-doubt, and a constant fear of getting things wrong. Perfectionism was her operating system, until a second chronic health condition made her old coping strategies unsustainable. It wasn't about lowering her standards (although that helped too). It was about loosening their grip. Listen to Kat's story here: iTunes → https://lnkd.in/eA5ZPk9g Spotify → https://lnkd.in/ei3_F5t4 Perfectionism trains you to be an exceptional doer. But it strangles your leadership. Because if only you can do it "right," you become the bottleneck. If feedback threatens your worth, you'll avoid the stretch that leadership demands. And if your Inner Critic is the loudest voice in the room, how can you get a word in? Your perfectionism isn't your identity. It's a protective strategy, a part of you that once learned getting things right meant being safe. Here are 4 steps to shift from control to inner leadership: 1. Name the Part ↳ "Hello, Perfectionist. Why are you here right now?" 2. Respect ↳ "Thank you for trying to protect me from…" 3. Reassure ↳ "Now that I understand, I've got it from here." 4. Return to Choice ↳ You are the CEO of your inner boardroom. What do you choose now? You don't have to lower your standards. You just have to let go of the compulsion around them. What does your Inner Perfectionist expect of you, and at what cost? Whether you're navigating career change, shifting your inner dynamics, or making the move from doer to leader, I'm just a message away. 💾 Save this post (3 little dots top right) to remind yourself of how to break the killer critic-perfectionist pattern. ➕ And follow Hannah Roberts, Ph.D. for more on personal and professional development.

Perfection is how many women learn to disappear... 😱 It looks like discipline, but often it is fear dressed well For a long time, I did not call it perfectionism. I called it standards, ambition, being responsible. But when I look back honestly, a lot of what I thought was discipline was actually fear. Fear of getting it wrong. Fear of being judged. Fear of being seen before I felt fully ready. Fear of not being enough unless everything looked polished, useful, and under control. I know this pattern because I lived it. There were years when trying to be everything cost me more than I admitted. From the outside, it can look like a woman is coping well. Inside, she is exhausted from trying to earn rest, worth, visibility, and love through performance. That is one of the deepest pains I see in women leaders. They do not only want to do well. They feel they must do everything flawlessly. They overthink the post, the offer, the email, the meeting, the decision, the tone, the image, the timing. They tell themselves they are being careful, but underneath that is often a more painful belief: If I am not exceptional, I may not be safe. If I am not polished, I may not be respected. If I am not perfect, I may not be chosen. That belief is expensive. It delays action. It weakens voice. It kills momentum. It makes women visible only in controlled ways. And over time, it disconnects them from the truth of who they are. Perfectionism is a visibility issue. It teaches women to hide inside refinement. To wait until the message is flawless. To soften the truth until it is acceptable. To perform strength instead of living in self-trust. Here are 5 signs perfectionism may still be running your life: ▪️ You rest, but guilt follows you. ▪️You delay sharing until it feels polished enough. ▪️You over-correct small mistakes as if they define you. ▪️You struggle to celebrate progress because your mind jumps to what is missing. ▪️You look accomplished from the outside but feel strangely empty inside. That is not just pressure. It is a nervous system trained to believe love, worth, and visibility must be earned. The shift begins when a woman stops asking, “How do I get this perfect?” and starts asking, “What truth am I afraid to stand behind before it is polished?” That question changes everything. Leadership is is built through clarity, honesty, repair, and the courage to keep showing up without making flawlessness the price of participation. So if perfection has been eating you alive, this is your reminder: You do not need to become flawless to become visible or finished to become worthy. And you do not need to become someone else to lead. ♻️ Repost and follow Maryam Jan Akbari for more unshamed leadership and visibility insights. 📌 If this resonated, join our community where women are building real authority without shrinking themselves: https://lnkd.in/dVuS_GdX Video: Anna Maria Engelschall 

I chased perfection for years. What I gained was anxiety and self-doubt. Here’s what I learned about confidence: 1. 🔹 The pursuit of perfection can erode self-assurance. 2. 🔹 When leaders fixate on flawless outcomes, they lose sight of their value. 3. 🔹 Perfectionism creates a vicious cycle of fear and inadequacy. To reconnect with confidence, embrace imperfection. → 📌 Accept that mistakes are part of the journey. → 📌 Believe that growth springs from learning, not from endless striving. True confidence flourishes in authenticity. When leaders show their true selves, they invite genuine connections. That vulnerability fosters a supportive environment. Instead of hiding behind a façade of perfection, let’s celebrate realness. Support your team members as they discover their voice. Encourage authenticity. Promote a culture where strengths are recognized and weaknesses are accepted. When leaders feel secure in who they are, confidence radiates throughout the organization. No more chasing unattainable standards. Focus on progress, not perfection. Build a community that values authenticity over flawless performance. Let’s create spaces where everyone feels empowered to share their true selves, leading to a stronger, more resilient team. Have you embraced your imperfections? Share your thoughts.