How to Maximize Mentor Meetings

My weekends are often spent mentoring, and I frequently get asked how I find the time and if it gets exhausting. For me, it doesn't. Spending a few hours each week lecturing at a college, solving issues for friends, or catching up with contemporaries is a delight. The diversity of my work is like being a space traveler: one day, it's creating music with Ankur Tewari; the next, it's discussing comedy with Tanmay Bhatt, or exploring the future of publishing with Shreya Punj. My schedule might exhaust others, but as Amit Varma says, it's like creating a picture of the universe—the more dots, the clearer the picture. And as I say, "To sprinkle stardust, you have to visit the stars." Every person is an adventure, an Aladdin’s cave filled with treasure. The question is, can you unlock them? Some steps for Learning and Mentoring Conversations - Listen More Than Talk: Truly hear what the other person is saying. - Keep Devices Away: Focus on the conversation unless taking notes, and inform them if you are. - Frame Questions Well: Ask open-ended questions to elicit more than a yes or no. - Set Goals: Establish clear objectives for mentoring sessions. - Encourage Openness: Create a safe environment for sharing. - Be Patient: Let the conversation flow naturally. - Provide Constructive Feedback: Offer supportive insights. - Summarize and Reflect: Ensure understanding and engagement. - Follow Up: Check progress and continue discussions. - Stay Curious:Maintain genuine interest in their journey. - Encourage Self-Reflection: Prompt deep thinking about their actions. - Respect Boundaries:Be mindful of sensitive topics. These strategies help create meaningful, effective learning conversations that enrich both parties.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the 90 minute virtual meeting paradox. We spend the first 30 minutes on welcoming everyone and introductions, the next 15 on framing, and then a few people share thoughts. Then, just when the conversation gets meaningful, the host abruptly announces "We're out of time!” and throws a few rushed closing thoughts and announcements together. Sound familiar? We crave deep, meaningful, trust-based exchanges in virtual meeting environments that feel both tiring and rushed. It seems like as soon as momentum builds and insights emerge, it’s time to wrap up. Share-outs become a regurgitation of top-level ideas—usually focused on the most soundbite-ready insights and omitting those seeds of ideas that didn’t have time to be explored further. And sometimes, we even cite these meetings as examples of participation in a process, even when that participation is only surface level to check the participation box.  After facilitating and attending hundreds (thousands?) of virtual meetings, I've found four practices that create space for more engagement and depth: 1. Send a thoughtful and focused pre-work prompt at least a few days ahead of time that invites reflection before gathering. When participants arrive having already engaged with the core question(s), it’s much easier to jump right into conversation. Consider who designs these prompts and whose perspectives they center. 2. Replace round-robin introductions with a focused check-in question that directly connects to the meeting's purpose. "What's one tension you're navigating in this work?" for example yields more insight than sharing organizational affiliations. Be mindful of who speaks first and how difference cultural communication styles may influence participation.  3. Structure the agenda with intentionally expanding time blocks—start tight (and facilitate accordingly), and then create more spaciousness as the meeting progresses. This honors the natural rhythm of how trust and dialogue develop, and allows for varying approaches to processing and sharing.  4. Prioritize accessibility and inclusion in every aspect of the meeting. Anticipating and designing for participants needs means you’re thinking about language justice, technology and materials accessibility, neurodivergence, power dynamics, and content framing. Asking “What do you need to fully participate in this meeting?” ahead of time invites participants to share their needs. These meeting suggestions aren’t just about efficiency—they’re about creating spaces where authentic relationships and useful conversations can actually develop. Especially at times when people are exhausted and working hard to manage their own energy, a well-designed meeting can be a welcome space to engage. I’m curious to hear from others: What's your most effective strategy for holding substantive meetings in time-constrained virtual spaces? What meeting structures have you seen that actually work?

Don't cancel 1:1s downward. You may think there's nothing to talk about, or that you're too busy to meet. But don't cancel on your mentee or direct report. At the very least, offer to reschedule. Canceling without warning leads to them feeling like you don't care--even if you do. I promise you, there are things to talk about, and I made a framework so you never forget. It's called C2-G2-R2. C2: • Condition - How are you feeling? Green, yellow, red? • Challenges - What recent challenges were there? G2 • Goals - How are you tracking on your goals? • Growth - Where do you want to grow? How can I help you grow? R2 • Relationships - How are relationships with your coworkers? • Reflections - What's going well and what could be going better? Note: This works both ways too. If you're having a meeting with your manager or mentor, you can think of C2-G2-R2 as what to talk about. You could even put it in your 1:1 doc as a reminder. -- If you found this helpful, I'd be so grateful for a like 👍 or repost ♻️ !

I've never officially asked anyone to be my mentor. Yet people constantly ask how I have so many mentors. Here's the system I used instead: I found people who moved me—whose ideas resonated, who I had something in common with—and after our first conversation, I'd simply ask: "Can we do this again?" Then I'd let them dictate the cadence. Monthly. Quarterly. Whatever worked for them. This cadence became a signal. It told me how close they wanted to stay. And I respected it. But here's the system that changed everything: 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗜 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝟭:𝟭 𝗱𝗼𝗰𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘃𝗶𝘁𝗲. This document became our space for: • Topics we discussed • Ideas we explored • Books and podcasts they recommended • Resources to follow up on • Personal details: their kids, interests, hobbies, goals • Questions I wanted to ask next time Before each meeting, I'd review it. After each meeting, I'd update it. What this did: 𝟭. 𝗠𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 I could see momentum building between touchpoints. Our conversations weren't starting from zero each time—they were building on something. 𝟮. 𝗘𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄-𝘂𝗽 When they mentioned their daughter's soccer tournament, I'd note it. Next time: "How did Emma's tournament go?" These small details matter. 𝟯. 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗱 𝗜 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 The document proved I wasn't just collecting mentors. I was investing in the relationship. I remembered what they shared. I followed up on their advice. 𝟰. 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 This wasn't random coffee chats. This was systematic relationship building. Each conversation built on the last. The result? People didn't feel like they were being asked to "mentor" me. They felt like we were building something together. And over time, they became exactly what mentors are: people who genuinely invest in your growth because they've seen you invest in the relationship. This strategy started early in my career. I still use it today. Because the best mentorships aren't created by asking someone to be your mentor. They're created by building infrastructure that makes the relationship matter. 𝘿𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙢 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨?

How to make your meetings 100x better: • Before each meeting, decide on the desired outcome. What needs to be happen by the end of this call? • The organizer should share an agenda at least 24h prior. Each item should have a clear purpose: – To discuss – To decide – To inform – To align • One person should always drive the meeting and be responsible for keeping everyone on time, on topic, and accountable. • If something can be achieved asynchronously (email, Loom, Google Docs), cancel the meeting, always. • Limit the number of participants in the meeting. If it's not clear whether someone should attend, leave them off and send them the Granola notes after. • Avoid recurring or standing meetings. Most of the time, "fake" work is created to fill time for the purpose of looking productive. • Default to 25-minute meetings. It instills focus and gives everyone a breather before the next one. • Disagreement is the most valuable thing that can happen in a meeting. When everyone agrees, no value is created. Instead, the person driving the meeting should nurture productive debate if it comes up. • Start the meeting by sharing data and insights, not anecdotes. This gives everyone a common starting point from which they can form their point of view. • Practice radical transparency by recording, transcribing, and documenting everything to be sent out over (easier than ever now!) • End every meeting with clear decisions and action items. No takeaways = wasted time. These are some of the things I've learned from my time at Google, Meta, and now Fibe. I hope it helps!

What If Your 1:1s Became the Best Meeting of the Week? One-on-ones might be the least effective meeting in corporate America today. How do I know? They’re also the most frequently canceled. That’s a shame — because when done well, one-on-ones can build trust, accelerate performance, and create space for meaningful coaching. Here’s a 4-question framework to make your 1:1s something your team actually looks forward to: 1️⃣ What are you most proud of since our last 1:1? Start on a high note. This question energizes the conversation and gives your employee space to celebrate wins. Acknowledge their accomplishments and connect them to the broader impact. If you’ve noticed other great work, highlight it here too. 2️⃣ If you could do anything over again, what would it be? Once trust and psychological safety are established, this opens the door to reflection and learning. In my experience — and repeatedly confirmed through 360 assessments — employees are often their own toughest critics. This question makes constructive feedback a routine part of the conversation, rather than something that only shows up in performance reviews (where it can feel like judgment). 3️⃣ What are you looking to accomplish between now and our next 1:1 — and what’s your approach? This is a classic FeedForward moment. Reinforce their confidence, offer strategic input, and ensure priorities are clear. 4️⃣ How can I help? You might get “crickets” the first few times. Stay consistent. Over time, you’ll get thoughtful, genuine answers that deepen your partnership. When you follow this simple framework, your employee leaves each 1:1: 🔹Energized by what they’ve accomplished 🔹Reflective about how they can improve 🔹Clear on their game plan going forward 🔹Supported by you as their leader Now that’s a meeting worth keeping on the calendar! #OneonOne #coaching #Leadership #LinkedInbyScottZ

How often has a stranger or a friend of a friend reached out to you for a “quick chat” but they ask aimless questions, have done no research on their own, or just want you to give your valuable knowledge away for free? A friend of a friend asked me to help his relatively junior business development manager prepare for a pitch to an investor who had already seen part of their pitch and stopped in the middle telling them to come back when they were more prepared. I listened to the pitch and realized it needed a lot of work and more than I could help with in two days. So I told her I would meet with her again only if she watched/read some resources I sent her on verbal and nonverbal communication, presence, and speaking more concisely. She did and I was blown away at her second attempt the next day. Her pre-work made helping her so much easier. The investor was apparently pleased too because they are now talking numbers. Lessons? ✅ if you’re the one giving the advice, remember your time and expertise are valuable. If you don’t know this person and are doing a favor for someone and don’t want to charge for a consultation, give them an assignment before they meet with you. If they haven’t done their homework, stop the meeting and make sure that the person who referred them to you knows about it. ✅ make the meeting time short so that the conversation stays focused. Remember, you can always make more money. You can’t make more time. ✅ if you’re the one seeking the mentorship or advice, do your research. Go beyond looking at social media or website profiles. Read articles about the person and the topic you plan to discuss. See if they’ve been on podcasts, and find out everything you can about them and their industry. Nothing wastes more time (to me at least) than someone asking “tell me about your journey.” Instead think of targeted questions that directly relate to what you want to know and how this person’s advice can help you. And then ask them if there is anyone you can talk to and whether they are willing to make an introduction. If you were prepared when you spoke to them, the answer will likely be yes. If you wasted their time, they won’t want to risk their reputation by referring you to anyone else. ✅ if you’re the expert, at some point think of when you need to charge for that brainstorming session and be ruthless with your calendar. I spent at least 4 hours with the brainstorming and pitch coaching sessions with that business development novice. They now have an investor and I have the satisfaction of helping them, but I undervalued myself and was out of my integrity with my time. What are your best tips for preserving your time and boundaries when someone wants to “pick your brain for a minute”?

Mentorship isn't complex. It's three recurring conversations structured around the day-to-day and strategic topics that naturally come up. Be sure to hit each of these regularly. Conversation 1: Pattern Exposure What it is: Teaching them to see what you see in decisions. How to run it: → Tell the story of one decision you made → Walk through your thinking: "I saw X, which signaled Y, so I chose Z" → Show the framework: "My rule is: if A, then B" → Ask: "What would you have chosen and why?" → Compare their logic to yours How to level up: Use a real-world decision they are making and ask them questions. Let your questions and their answers do the teaching. Conversation 2: Capability Check What it is: Tracking what more they can do over time. How to run it: → Review capability ladder: Supervised → Reviewed → Autonomous → Teaching others → Ask: "What did you handle without needing me?" → Identify one capability that moved up a level → Assign next challenge slightly harder → Set handoff criteria: "When you do X consistently, you can take charge of it" How to level up: Teach them to brief you effectively: Subject → Decision → Options → Recommendation → Rationale Conversation 3: Network Building What it is: Strategic introductions to your network. How to run it: → Map your network: Who do they need for next-level work? → Pick one person to introduce this month → Brief them: "Here's why they matter, how to add value first" → Make intro with reputation pre-seed: "[Mentee] just [accomplishment], working on [relevant project]" → Follow up: "What did you learn?" How to level up: Make this part of your career development conversation, so introductions fit into that framework The Monthly Rhythm Week 1: Pattern Exposure (45 min) Week 2-3: Capability Check (30 min) Week 4: Network Building (20 min + intro) If you're not hitting each of these conversations on a regular basis, you're not mentoring. Start now with Pattern Exposure. ----- I help ambitious leaders escape burnout through systematic frameworks. Supercharge your career with my Leadership Superpowers newsletter: gplead.com/nl

Top managers don’t require #mentoring anymore? Wrong. The opposite is true. Still, it is something not disclosed too often. As to myself, I am learning from many people, but one person clearly stands out. Ralf Thomas of Siemens is a companion and counselor to me since 20 years and across several companies and development steps. We started our journey at Siemens when, as a “young” M&A project manager, I approached him on the occasion of a finance talent program. From there on, we kept the dialogue. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲? Through meetings and calls every now and then, sometimes shorter and more casual, sometimes longer and more concentrated. Always considerate of his extremely tight schedule. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝘂𝘀𝘀? Personal development, the role of a CFO, also vis-à-vis the management team, requirements of and people around new positions, the general state of affairs and the contribution of business leaders. 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 on productive mentorship: Personal fit matters a lot, in terms of character, values, thinking, also to some degree the age difference (in our case 10 years). Don’t be shy, approach personalities you consider inspiring. If they have an edge for people development, they will be open. Clarify expectations and operating mode explicitly. Take initiative. As a mentee, always prepare. E.g. practically, until today, I sketch an update of my situation and potential discussion topics and share before our meetings/calls. Focus on the material points, don’t waste time. Be flexible on format. Openness is of the essence. Think reciprocal – (try to) offer information pieces of benefit to the mentor. Be persistent, do not let it slip away. As any personal relationship, it requires interest, proactiveness, investment. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁? The trust and “close to friends” relationship we have built. My mentor’s optimism … and: tolerance for my mistakes 😉. Thank you Ralf, I am grateful for 20 insightful years (and hopefully many more to come)! What are some of your mentoring experiences?

"Get a mentor" is the most common career advice you’ll hear, But it only works if you know how to be a great mentee. Having mentored hundreds of people, top mentees do these four things exceptionally well: 1/ Respect their mentor's time Mentors are sharing their most valuable asset—their time. Show respect by coming prepared, keeping track of actions, and managing the meeting efficiently. 2/ Provide context A mentor can only help as much as they understand your challenges, goals, and situation. Be clear about what you need and share enough background to make their advice actionable and applicable. 3/ Listen with openness Feedback isn’t always easy to hear. Great mentees embrace the discomfort of being challenged and are willing to consider new perspectives. 4/ Take action and close the loop Prove their advice matters by putting it into practice—and follow up to share the results. Share your wins (big or small). Express gratitude. This builds trust and demonstrates your commitment to growth. Your success as a mentee directly impacts your mentor's willingness to invest in your growth. What’s the best advice a mentor has ever given you? PS: The secret of great mentors? They never stop being great mentees. My colleagues Steve Huynh, Rajdeep Saha, and Ethan Evans are all sharing insights on being a great mentee today. Check out their perspectives. --- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.