Feedback and Performance Reviews

You might not want performance conversations to be personal, but trust me, they are very personal to your employees. Their livelihood is at stake. Their capability is in question. The consequences are incredibly high. My job is to stay calm and bring structure to it. Otherwise, it can become a tangled mess. Ideally, I’ve set clear expectations upfront. And they’ve been getting feedback from me at a regular clip. But sometimes, we must step back and ask, “Where are we?” Here's how I structure those conversations: 📌 My first question: "Do they see it?" Do they appreciate what’s needed to meet or beat expectations? Do they understand how and why they’re coming up short? If "No," you need to get them there. How? Asking them to self-assess can give me useful intel. You can also finesse this by getting others to provide feedback. Different words can often break through. If they do see it... 📌 "Do they want to fix it?" If the answer is "No," the path becomes painfully obvious. You can’t have people in the role that don’t want to meet it. And people willingly leaving their role is easiest. How? Finesse it by previewing the severance or exit package. Identify roles they might thrive in. Chances are they're frustrated, too. Or if they’re a great fit in the wrong role, you can discuss a trial elsewhere in the org. Finally, if they see it and want to fix it... 📌 “Do they know how?” If not, this is a great place to coach. Use questions to guide them in the direction you need. If they write the map, they tend to follow it. If they know how and are not improving, there are two possibilities: -> They’re not making the change. -> They’re making it, and it’s not helping. In either case, the fair choice for your team and for them is likely an exit. These conversations are always challenging. But they're nearly impossible when we don't have a plan. You can have conversations, or you can lead them. In moments of high emotion, clear is kind. If you found this post helpful: - Please repost ♻️ to help other leaders - Follow Dave Kline 🔔 for more posts like it - Subscribe to my MGMT Playbook 📕 (in bio) Join 30K leaders and get access to 75 practical playbooks + working templates for every challenging management moment.

The one habit that separates you from those who plateau? Regular self-reflection. In the nonprofit world, you always have something to do. - Grant deadlines - Board meetings - Program delivery - Fundraising campaigns The work never stops. But what really makes a difference happens during the in-between moments. Self-reflection is what keeps you competitive and fuels your growth. It's the practice that prevents complacency when things are going well. It challenges you to dig deeper, even when you think you've done enough. And it creates the clarity needed to navigate constant change. This looks like asking yourself: "What can I do to help my board be more engaged and effective?" "Are we truly connecting with our donors' values and motivations?" "Have the needs of the people we serve evolved?" "Are we actually creating the impact we intend?" Without regular self-reflection, we become defensive when criticism arrives. We miss the shifting needs of our communities. We confuse activity with progress. The most effective nonprofit leaders I know don't just reflect on their programs. They reflect on themselves. They ask hard questions. They stay curious about their blind spots. They create the mental space to evolve alongside their missions. Because in a sector where resources are limited and stakes are high, the ability to honestly assess yourself and your organization isn't just nice to have. It's your competitive edge. What questions are you asking yourself this week? If this resonates, I'd love for you to share this post with another nonprofit leader who might need it. Follow Carrie Gray, D.B.A. for more insights on nonprofit leadership and growth. And get my newsletter for quick, actionable strategies you can implement today. - https://lnkd.in/esVeG7vh

Constructive criticism is a powerful tool for growth, and knowing what went wrong can help me make the necessary adjustments for future opportunities. Receiving feedback helps me understand areas where I might have fallen short, whether it's in my skills, communication, or understanding of the role. Without that feedback, I'm left in the dark, unsure of what went wrong or what I need to focus on for personal development. It’s not just about hearing “no,” it’s about learning from the experience and improving myself for the next challenge. I value transparency, and a little insight into what could have been better would be incredibly helpful. When feedback is given, it shows that the company cares about the candidate’s growth, even if they aren’t the right fit for the role at the moment. It’s a small step that can make a big difference in how a candidate approaches their job search and career growth. Constructive feedback allows me to refine my skills, work on areas of weakness, and come back stronger for the next opportunity. It also enhances the candidate experience, leaving me with a positive impression of the company, even if I’m not selected for the role. Providing feedback doesn’t only benefit me as a candidate it also helps the company in the long run by fostering a positive and respectful interview process. When HR takes the time to guide candidates, it reflects well on the company’s culture and commitment to growth, both for its employees and potential hires. In the end, feedback creates a win-win situation for everyone involved, turning a rejection into an opportunity for self-improvement.

Just finished reading a massive systematic review on performance feedback and honestly, it's one of those papers that makes you go "oh, that explains a lot." Here's the deal: Emma C. E. Heine, Jeroen Stouten, and Robert C. Liden went through 173 studies on performance feedback — the kind your boss gives you — and found something pretty eye-opening. Positive feedback basically just works. It consistently boosts performance across the board. Not groundbreaking on its own, but here's where it gets interesting. Negative feedback? It's complicated. It can help, hurt, or do absolutely nothing — and it mostly comes down to the relationship between the manager and the employee. If you've got a solid, trusting relationship with your boss, negative feedback actually lands well. You take it on board, feel a bit of productive shame or motivation, and improve. Without that relationship? It can tank your performance and just make you feel rubbish. The review also uncovered that over 50% of feedback research doesn't even specify whether the feedback being studied was positive or negative. Which is kind of wild when you think about it — researchers have been studying "feedback" for decades without being clear on what kind they're actually looking at. Some other bits that stood out: Women consistently receive lower performance ratings than men, especially from male supervisors in traditionally male fields. Sex stereotypes are genuinely warping the feedback people get. More agreeable managers tend to be more lenient in their reviews — so your "nice boss" might actually be doing you a disservice by sugarcoating things. When managers like you, your feedback gets rosier. When they don't, it gets harsher and more specific. That's relationship bias showing up before the conversation even starts. Goal setting paired with negative feedback tends to help — but only when goals feel achievable. Unattainable goals plus critical feedback is basically a recipe for someone checking out. The authors propose something they call the Performance Feedback Valence Theory, and the core idea is this: the supervisor-subordinate relationship is the foundation that makes negative feedback work. Without it, you need substitutes — things like high-quality feedback, supportive delivery, supervisor credibility, and the employee's own self-esteem — to compensate. Strategic takeaway for organisations: Stop investing so heavily in feedback training programmes that teach managers what to say, and start investing in the relational infrastructure that determines whether anything they say actually lands. Build trust, psychological safety, and genuine connection between managers and their people first. That's the foundation. Without it, even the most perfectly worded negative feedback will fall flat — or worse, backfire. The feedback conversation is only as good as the relationship it sits inside.

🗣️“You must be more assertive.” Last year, those five words burned into Amy’s memory. She’d walked out of her 2023 review at XYZ Global determined to “step up.” Speak more in meetings. Push harder on decisions. Stop softening her tone so she wouldn’t intimidate anyone. She did exactly that. Fast forward 12 months. Same conference room. Same 2 VPs across the table. 🔇“You’ve become too intense, need to work on softening your approach.” 😑 Amy stared at them, speechless. Wasn’t that what you asked for last year? Which version of me do you actually want? She thought about the past year: 🤔 The time she challenged a flawed budget forecast in front of the CFO, saving the company $3 million, but earning whispers that she was “abrasive.” 🤔 The time she stepped in to rescue a failing project, praised for her “grit” publicly, yet privately told she “dominated the room.” 🤔 The time she finally got invited to an executive offsite, only to overhear a VP say, “She’s great, but can be… a lot.” This is the tightrope trap senior women walk daily: • Be assertive, but not too assertive. • Be collaborative, but don’t fade into the background. • Be visible, but not “hungry.”    The same behavior praised in men (decisive, strong leader) gets women penalized as abrasive or too much. Until you set the narrative yourself, you’re trapped performing for a moving target. If you’re exhausted from balancing on a wire men don’t even see, here’s how to step off it and still rise. 1. Audit the pattern, not just the feedback • Track every piece of feedback, especially contradiction. Patterns reveal bias. If the goal keeps moving, it's not you! • Phrase to use in review: “Last year I was encouraged to increase my presence; this year I’m told to soften it. Can we clarify what success really looks like?”    2. Control the frame before the room does • Pre‑set the narrative in 1:1s and emails leading up to reviews. I.e., “This year I focused on driving results while bringing the team with me, you’ll see that reflected in project X and Y.” • This primes leadership to view your assertiveness as an intentional strategy, not a personality flaw.    3. Build echo chambers, not just results • Secure 2–3 allies who reinforce your strengths in rooms you’re not in. • Promotions happen in the absence, you need people echoing your narrative, not someone else’s. • Phrase to brief an ally: “If my leadership style comes up in review, can you speak to how I challenge decisions but still align the team?”    Women aren’t just asked to deliver results. They’re asked to perform, decode, and reframe, all while walking a wire men don’t even see. If you’re exhausted from balancing between “too soft” and “too aggressive,” stop walking the wire and start controlling the narrative. Join the waitlist of our next cohort of ⭐ From Hidden Talent to Visible Leaders ⭐ https://lnkd.in/gx7CpGGR 👊 Because leadership shouldn’t feel like an impossible balancing act.

How to process negative feedback without losing confidence Negative feedback especially from your manager can feel like a punch to the gut. Whether it’s about your work, behaviour, or performance, it’s hard not to take it personally. The emotions can be heavy—self-doubt, frustration, maybe even anger. Embarrassment: "Why didn’t I see this coming?" Hurt: "Am I not good enough?" Defensiveness: "They don’t understand my challenges!" These feelings are very human, and it's okay to feel them. The key is not letting them control how you respond. --- Instead of letting emotions linger or reacting impulsively, try: - Accept how you're feeling without judgment. Take a step back and breathe. - Feelings vs. Facts: This feedback is about your work, not your worth. - Try to see it objectively—what can you learn from it? --- Here’s what you can do when negative feedback hits: - Take time to process, don't rush responses. - Ask for clarification to understand specifics clearly. - Reflect, adapt, and create an improvement plan. It’s never easy to hear you’re falling short, but how you respond matters. With patience and self-reflection, feedback can become a powerful tool for growth. Also, you will be appreciated for your calmness under pressure and growth mindset - key leadership traits.

𝑻𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔. 𝑶𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒖𝒏𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒍𝒐𝒚𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒚. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒓 → Drops "Great job!" emails. No specifics. No impact. → Team feels unseen. Motivation flatlines. → 𝘍𝘪𝘹: Give specifics - “Your data dive yesterday uncovered the risk we avoided. That saved us weeks." 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝑯𝒐𝒈 → Takes credit publicly. Praises privately (maybe). → Top talent starts updating their LinkedIn profile. → 𝘍𝘪𝘹: Tag them first—"Thanks to [Name]'s insight, we pivoted before the deadline." Here's what happened when a manager did neither: His top performer quit. Not for more money. For feeling invisible. "I delivered results. He took credit. I was done being his ghost writer." 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒈𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕 (You?) → Builds systems: Weekly wins in standups. Peer shoutouts. Milestone celebrations. → Result? 2x retention. Innovation surges. → 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘺𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘮: Name one person's contribution every day - Out loud, With specifics. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒕𝒉: Generic praise is noise. Specific recognition is signal. People don't leave because you didn't recognize them. They leave because you made them invisible. 𝑹𝒆𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕: → Who on your team deserves specific recognition today—and what exactly will you say? → Which type are you today—and who will know you've shifted by tomorrow? Next week: 𝑮𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒕𝒉 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒆𝒕 — fostering learning that sticks. 𝘗.𝘚. 𝘞𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴? → Subscribe on LinkedIn 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝑬𝒅𝒈𝒆 https://lnkd.in/gi-u8ndJ #TheInnerEdge #Recognition #LeadershipCoaching #ExecutiveDevelopment

Does your feedback kill creativity? I’ve seen this pattern many times: brilliant ideas dying not from lack of merit, but from the way they’re critiqued. The problem isn’t feedback itself - it’s how we deliver it. When we offer criticism without direction, we’re not helping. Phrases like “This won’t work” or “That doesn’t make sense” are idea killers. They tear down without building up. The result? People stop sharing ideas when they know they’ll be shot down. And that fear becomes the team’s culture. Here’s what the best mentors I’ve seen do differently: instead of flattening ideas, they sharpen them. And here’s a practical framework that can help you do the same 👇 1️⃣ Observe a specific behavior or aspect of the idea 2️⃣ Explain why it might not achieve the desired result 3️⃣ Suggest questions or alternatives to try that may lead to the desired outcomes This approach honors the courage it takes to share creative work. It matches vulnerability with care and turns feedback sessions into collaborative problem-solving. ✨ The choice is yours: Will your feedback kill creativity, or will it help it soar?

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺? There was a phase where I thought “good feedback” means being direct. So I was direct. And slowly, I started noticing something painful. People were doing the work. But they were shrinking.  • They stopped sharing drafts early.  • Stopped asking questions.  • Stopped taking bold ownership. Not because they were weak. Because feedback started feeling like a verdict, not guidance. That’s when I learned something as a founder and as a leader: 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲. So I changed how I speak. Here’s the structure I use now: 1. Name the intention first “I’m saying this because I want you to grow here.” 2. Talk about the behavior, not the personality Not “you’re careless”, But “these details were missed.” 3. Make the impact clear “This affects trust, timelines, and how the team relies on you.” 4. Ask for context before judgment “What made this hard?” Honestly, Sometimes it’s overload. Sometimes it’s unclear expectations. 5. Set the next standard in a simple, repeatable way “Next time, use this 2 minute checklist. And share the draft earlier.” 6. End with belief “I’m telling you this because I trust you can handle it.” 𝗜𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗿, 𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴. Feedback is not a punishment. It’s a leadership tool to build people who stay confident while getting better. #Leadership #TeamCulture #Management #Founders #PeopleFirst