Managing Stakeholder Expectations in Negotiation

My team and I once tried to hand-wave our way past Jeff Bezos with a large headcount request. He asked one question, was disappointed by the answer, and dug deeper. After a weak answer to question two, it was game over. Jeff declared that he trusted NONE of our proposal and sent us back, telling us, "Break down your requests to no more than 2 or 3 heads, tops, per line item. Then explain exactly what these small buckets will do." Once we did this, he went through the request line by line, telling us what we could and could not have. Overall, it was probably the most brutal experience I had with him in my 15 years at Amazon. While some people will read this and feel it was micromanagement, he was entirely right. We thought we had a blank check, so we made a big, broad funding request. We learned very quickly that while Jeff supported our mission, he expected us to spend "his" money carefully. Most people think executive influence happens in the room, by talking slick or having the right alliances. While communication and connections are hugely important, most of your influence is built before the meeting starts. Getting executive buy-in comes from understanding your executives, anticipating their concerns, and structuring your message around what they value. Here are two quick specifics: 1. Preparation If you walk into a key stakeholder meeting without preparing, like I did, you’ve already lost. The first step in preparation is clarity: What are you trying to achieve, by when, and why now? Then, define exactly what you’re asking for: a decision, resources, or permission to move forward. Finally, decode the humans. What does each stakeholder care about? What do they fear? How do they make decisions? Build your case in their language and plan your approach with intention. 2. Focus on Facts Executives are moved by accurate, outcome-driven facts. Shortly after this disastrous headcount audit, I was asked to lead the global expansion of the Kindle Appstore. This required taking 55 engineers away from other executive leaders to staff our rush effort. Our team won support by anchoring on three facts: (1) Kindle’s success in the U.S. was undeniable (2) The holiday deadline couldn’t move (3) Leadership had already approved a one-year draft to make it happen. Those facts aligned perfectly with what executives valued most: growth, timing, and company priority. If you master these skills, you’ll earn trust and support from senior leaders. In large organizations, this translates to success in your projects and success in your career. I've written a much more in depth Newsletter that covers these skills and more: https://lnkd.in/geEBPazP When have you either fallen into hand-waving or had to call your team on it?

Listen up. I've coached thousands of sales calls across Fortune 500 companies, and I'm telling you right now most reps are sabotaging their deals without even realizing it. When I was a rookie rep back in 2007, I nearly got fired because I didn't understand how language patterns impact sales psychology. Now after helping teams double their sales results in 90 days, I can spot these conversion killers from a mile away. You're probably crushing your win rate with these seemingly innocent phrases.  Here are 6 phrases that are absolutely DESTROYING your deals (and what to say instead): 1) "Sorry to bother you..." Look, when you start with an apology, you're basically telling the prospect "I'm not worth your time." You're six feet under before the conversation even starts. Top 1% performers NEVER apologize for delivering value. They command attention through absolute certainty. ✅ POWER MOVE: "Hey Alice, Marcus here from Venli. I'm reaching out because we helped Company X increase their pipeline by 37% last quarter, and I noticed your team might be facing similar challenges..." 2) "Just following up..." This lazy, low effort phrase screams "I have nothing valuable to add but I still want your money." It's the ultimate momentum killer. Elite reps are wildly precise with their words and always reference specific commitments made in previous conversations. ✅ POWER MOVE: "Alice, you mentioned you were going to discuss our proposal with Charles during your leadership meeting yesterday. I'm curious … what feedback did you receive that we should address?" 3) "I know you're really busy..." The moment these words leave your mouth, you've positioned yourself as less important. Game over. You're back in the hole. Remember: YOUR time is equally valuable. The top performers I've coached all communicate high status through subtle positioning. ✅ POWER MOVE: "I was just wrapping up a strategy session with Lisa, the CEO over at Company X, and wanted to quickly connect about next steps before my afternoon gets packed..." 4) "What are the next steps?" This shows you've done a poor job managing the process. You're basically admitting you don't have a system, a playbook or any real methodology. The sales machines I build GIVE direction, they don't ask for it. They own the process completely. ✅ POWER MOVE: "Based on what we've discussed, here's what typically happens next: First, we'll schedule a technical review with your team for next Tuesday. Then, we'll deliver a customized implementation plan by Friday. How does that sound?" 5) "To be honest..." Wait. Wait. Wait. So everything else you've said up until now was dishonest!? This undermines credibility faster than anything. When I turn around failing sales teams, eliminating this phrase is always one of the first habits we break. ✅ POWER MOVE: "That's an excellent question, Alice. Here's exactly how our solution addresses that challenge..."

At some stage in your career, you might have to chair huge meetings. Just like I did, as the former GM of Seletar Airport at Changi Airport Group and GM at Changi Airports International Pte Ltd. Moreover, in our aviation world, there are many many stakeholders and partners - Air Traffic Control, airlines, ground handlers, regulators, border control agencies, police, fuel operators, service providers, and system providers 🌎 You have a little more leeway when you are chairing internal meetings. But for external meetings, you absolutely need to up your game. After all, you are representing your organisation and collective interests of the community. When you are overseas, you are also representing Singapore and Singaporeans 🇸🇬 I learnt the hard way and made many mistakes along the way as the Chairman of such meetings. Especially at the onset. But thankfully, I learnt and believe I got better over time, with more experience and wisdom. Haha! 😆 Here are some tips if you have to chair such huge meetings: 1️⃣ Be very clear on the Terms of Reference. And what you can or cannot approve as the Chair. 2️⃣ Most time are spent pre-meeting, sorting out the agenda and doing pre-read of the materials. So that you go in prepared. Often already with the inkling of the directions and decisions you need to make. 3️⃣ Your secretary and your Team Leads are most important. Secretary needs to keep the agenda tight so that the meeting flows and we don't waste 50 people's time. Team Leads need to come in and speak up, so that it buys you some time to think thru in your head and make the final decisions. 4️⃣ Your words carry a lot of weight as the Chairman and you are ultimately accountable for the outcomes and the direction of serious issues and matters. And words matter. Choose your words wisely, tactfully, and positively. 5️⃣ Always thank each presenter, even if you may not agree with their views. They spent a lot of time putting up their slides and their recommendations. 6️⃣ Read the room and the body language of the attendees. Especially fellow key stakeholders. If a certain discussion has dragged too long and best for it to be taken offline, take it offline. 7️⃣ Keep your cool and your emotions in check. Trust me, I have lost it before, haha. We are humans after all, not some AI Robot chairing the meeting 🤣 But always recover your composure quickly if you momentarily lost it. Learn from it and not make the same mistake again. 8️⃣ As the Chair, your job is to seek opinions of key stakeholders. Proactively invite the silent experts to speak. Often, their views can change the dynamics and flow of the discussion. And the community is better for it. What would you add to the list? 🧳🛫 Follow me// Ching-Hock Chua // for more stories from your friendly neighbourhood Airport Man. #IMCAG #friendlyairportman #meetings

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐀𝐫𝐞 Enterprise Architecture abhors a vacuum—it thrives on stakeholder engagement. Often, architects jump into collaboration without first assessing one critical factor: • 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐄𝐀? Before strategy, frameworks, or roadmaps, 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 and 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. This will shape how you approach, gain buy-in, and drive outcomes. Here are 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 for aligning EA with stakeholders: 𝟏 | 𝐆𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐄𝐀 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 EA means different things to people, how can you align? Approach: * 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞. What do leaders think EA does? What experiences shape their view? * 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐄𝐀 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞. If a product saw EA as 'overhead,’ shift the conversation to ‘rapid decision-making.’ * 𝐓𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. Finance, operations, and IT leaders have different concerns. Meet them on their terms. 👉 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞: When you shape EA’s role based on their reality, it becomes relevant, not theoretical. 𝟐 | 𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐄𝐀 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 EA isn’t all architecture, it’s solving business problems. Approach: * 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐊𝐏𝐈𝐬. Growth? Efficiency? Risk? Align EA contributions to what leadership interests. * 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭. Show architecture driving go-to-market, savings, or agility—over compliance. * 𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐞/𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬. If EA was a bottleneck, demonstrate accelerated decision-making instead. 👉 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞: EA is a strategic enabler, not afterthought. 𝟑 | 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐄𝐀 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 EA works best in collaboration, not isolation. Approach: * 𝐄𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. Decision-making improves when EA is a proactive presence. * 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 ‘𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐀’ 𝐭𝐨 ‘𝐜𝐨-𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.’ Stakeholders engage when architecture is a tool for their success. * 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐨𝐟𝐟. EA isn’t a pitch—it’s a dialog evolving with business. 👉 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞: EA shaping decisions early rather than reacting later. 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. Before pushing frameworks or models, assess 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐄𝐀 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲—and how to reshape that narrative to unlock its full potential. How do align EA stakeholders? Let’s discuss.👇 --- ➕ 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 Kevin Donovan 🔔    👍 Like | ♻️ Repost | 💬 Comment    🚀 𝐉𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬’ 𝐇𝐮𝐛 👉 https://lnkd.in/dgmQqfu2

Decisions aren’t made in the meeting. They’re confirmed there. In Japan, this principle has a word: Nemawashi (根回し). Literally translated as “going around the roots,” it refers to the careful pre-alignment that happens before any official decision. Instead of debating and risking conflict in the room, leaders consult stakeholders one by one in advance—quietly gathering perspectives, addressing concerns, and building alignment step by step. I have encountered Nemawashi while working on a business in Japan. I initially assumed the meeting room would be the place for persuasion and debate, but I quickly discovered that someone had already done the groundwork beforehand. The most meaningful conversations took place in hallways, over coffee, or in quiet, one-on-one discussions. By the time everyone entered the meeting, stakeholders had already reached a consensus. What appeared to be a quick agreement in the room was, in reality, the result of weeks of careful listening, adjusting, and aligning that took place outside of it. This approach may feel unfamiliar to those accustomed to Western business practices, where decisions are often made after open discussion and debate in a meeting. However, Nemawashi highlights a universal truth, which is that influence usually occurs before visibility. The most successful outcomes are rarely the result of a single brilliant presentation or a dramatic last-minute pitch. Instead, they are the product of thoughtful groundwork. Understanding who matters, anticipating questions, adapting your message, and ensuring people feel heard long before the spotlight moment. For global leaders, this cultural lesson has a practical takeaway: before your next product launch, investment pitch, or strategic decision, spend as much time aligning stakeholders beforehand as you do preparing your slides. When people feel included early, they are more likely to support the outcome later. So, the next time you’re preparing for a big decision, remember Nemawashi. Do the quiet work in advance, and you’ll find the meeting itself becomes smoother, shorter, and more powerful. 👉How do you prepare stakeholders before a big decision? #Leadership #CrossCultural #DecisionMaking #JapanBusiness #StakeholderManagement

Let’s stop romanticizing input. Start professionalizing decisions. Because a team that hears everyone but can’t converge isn’t inclusive but indecisive. I see it all the time: 1. Teams bring bold, diverse perspectives to the table. 2. They brainstorm, debate, expand thinking. 3. But when it's time to choose - silence, hesitation, power grabs, or rushed consensus. The biggest problem I see in companies is that they treat decision-making as a moment, not a discipline. That’s where I focus in my work with leadership teams: Not just on hearing more voices, but on building the muscle of inclusive decision-making as a repeatable process that turns diversity into direction. Here’s how we do it: 1️⃣ Make decision rights explicit.  Who decides? Who contributes? Who needs to know? 2️⃣ Separate idea generation from commitment. Diverge first. Converge second. 3️⃣ Create a decision rhythm. Clear steps, check-ins, and closure points. 4️⃣ Build psychological safety to challenge, not just speak. No point in diverse ideas if no one can question the status quo. Because diverse ideas only create value when a team knows how to decide together. P.S.: Does your team know how to end a conversation with a decision and not just more ideas? —————————— 👋 Hi, I’m Susanna. I help organizations build high-performing, inclusive cultures by turning psychological safety and diversity into business strategy. Let’s work on how your teams & leaders think, feel, and decide - together.

Whether you’re promoting yourself in an interview, pitching a product, or asking for a raise, here’s how to persuade the person without being manipulative: At our Science of People lab, I’ve found that the most persuasive communicators master what I call the Two C’s: 1. Clarity Confusion kills persuasion. People can’t say yes to what they don’t understand. So before anything else, get crystal clear about what you do, who you help, and why it matters. 2. Curiosity Humans are drawn to questions, not monologues. If you can make someone genuinely curious, you’ve already earned their attention. Now let’s put those into practice. Step 1: Forget the elevator pitch Instead, think in terms of value propositions, statements that clearly show what you do and spark curiosity about how you do it. For example: “Meeting planners and association executives hire me to make them look like superstars.” That’s from Don Levine Jr. Every time he says it, people respond with: “Really? How do you do that?” And that “how” is the golden question, the one that opens real conversations instead of shutting them down. Step 2: Invite dialogue Your goal isn’t to “pitch.” It’s to start a discussion. When you state your value clearly, people naturally ask follow-up questions, and that’s when your expertise shines. Compare these two: • “I’m an engineer for a software company. We specialize in cybersecurity” • “I’m an engineer trying to solve the three biggest challenges in cybersecurity today” The second version invites curiosity and sets you up as an authority. Step 3: Be ready for “how” and “why” A great value proposition always leads to deeper questions: “How do you do that?” or “Why do you do that?” That’s your chance to explain your mission. Those “how” and “why” conversations create trust and credibility faster than any sales script ever could. Step 4: Add the third C (Courage) Yes, I’m sneaking in one more C. Because clarity and curiosity alone aren’t enough. You also need courage. • Courage to sound different • Courage to be memorable It takes confidence to say something like: • “I’m a human behavior hacker” • Or Jim McConnell’s favorite: “I keep my clients off the front page, keep executives alive and out of jail, and make suppliers accountable” • Or even a wedding planner who says: “Brides hire me so they can sleep better at night.” Each of those lines makes people lean in. Step 5: Create your own Here’s a simple fill-in-the-blank template to build your value proposition: I help [target audience] in [category] by [benefit/outcome] so they can [result]. Examples: • “For store owners in retail, our micro camera system provides fail-safe, worry-free security 24/7” • “I help startup entrepreneurs in tech hire the right people so they can focus on growth.” Now, I’m curious: what’s your value proposition? Fill in the blanks and share it below. I’d love to see what you come up with.

Resistance is universal. In every transformation I’ve worked on, resistance shows up. Not because people are difficult, but because change disrupts something. It may be routines, status, certainty or even identity. Over time, I’ve learned that resistance isn’t generic. It has different faces. Here are some that I have observed. 1. The fence sitters. They’re not against you. They’re just waiting. Waiting to see if this is real, if leadership will stay the course, if the metrics will actually matter. They move when momentum becomes undeniable. 2. The quiet blockers. They agree in meetings, nod at targets, and somehow timelines keep slipping. This is rarely rebellion. More often it’s risk management, transparency feels exposing, and exposure feels unsafe. 3. The comfort-zone protectors. Performance is “good enough.” The plant is running. The numbers aren’t disastrous. So why disrupt equilibrium? What looks like complacency is often a rational bias toward stability. 4. The Identity defenders. They struggle when a new system replaces the old heroics they built their careers on. When process replaces instinct, it can feel like loss of relevance. 5. The skeptics, usually experienced, often sharp. They’ve seen waves of initiatives roll through. Their resistance isn’t emotional. It’s historical. They’re asking, “What makes this one different?” 6. The exhausted. People aren’t unwilling; they’re overwhelmed. When capacity is maxed out, even the right change feels like one more burden. Management theory has names for all of this. ↳ Lewin called it the tension between driving and restraining forces. ↳ Kotter reminds us urgency must outweigh complacency. ↳ ADKAR tells us awareness and desire must come before ability and reinforcement. In one mining transformation, a key stakeholder kept committing to targets but progress stalled. It wasn’t sabotage. It was fear of missing publicly. Once early quick wins proved achievable and support was visible, his stance shifted. Not because we pushed harder, but because we reduced perceived risk. Such experiences have changed how I look at resistance. I stopped asking, “How do we eliminate it?” and started asking, “What kind is this?” → Fence sitters need proof. → Skeptics need credibility. → Comfort seekers need aspiration. → Identity defenders need respect. → The overwhelmed need simplification. Transformation isn’t about overpowering resistance. It’s about diagnosing it, and responding with the right lever. When you do that well, the same people who hesitated often become your strongest champions. #Leadership #Transformation #Mindset ------------------- I write regularly on People | Leadership | Transformation | Sustainability. Follow Surya Sharma.

Does your role involve responsibilities without requisite authority? How often have you had to influence stakeholders? Influencing skills repeatedly come up in my coaching conversations with clients. Leaders face the challenge of driving change when they don’t have direct control. The struggle can come from a common misconception: You may think Influence is about persuasion when, in reality, it’s more about perception. You focus on crafting the perfect argument, assuming logic will prevail, whereas Influence is more about how the other person experiences your ideas. If they resonate, they will lean in and want to know more. However, even the most innovative idea will face resistance if they feel pushed, dismissed, or threatened. Last year, I coached a CXO struggling with this challenge. He was passionate about a project and wanted it rolled out fast, but stakeholders pushed back, insisting the pace of change would disrupt business and create confusion. Instead of debating, he met with each stakeholder, heard their concerns, and understood their perspectives. Using insights from those conversations, he modified his plan, reframed his ideas in their language, and showed how it solved their pain points rather than disrupting them. Finally, he started small and offered them a pilot version of the project instead of a full rollout. Over time, as they saw the results come in, one by one, they acknowledged the benefits and became active advocates. To get through, begin by making the stakeholders feel heard and understood. Here are three ways you can do that: ▷ Get curious about their resistance. Fear of change? Loss of control? Competing priorities? ▷ Speak their language. People don’t change for your reasons; they will change for theirs. Show them how they win. ▷ Make it safe to say yes. Big changes trigger big resistance. Small wins build momentum. People trust and respect you as they feel heard. When you know how to position ideas effectively, you don’t have to rely on authority and can drive change from any seat at the table. Earlier in the post, I said that you may think Influence is about persuasion when it’s more about perception. Another way to look at this is that Influence is about positioning. The less the stakeholders feel pushed, the more they lean in. What are your strategies for influencing when you have no authority? #InfluencingSkills #LeadershipDevelopment #ExecutiveCoaching

As CEOs, we must serve as the catalyst for our organizations, shaping the narrative and leading with a strong communication strategy. In my experience as the CEO of two hospitals, I’ve learned that the role requires navigating a complex web of stakeholders—investors, employees, customers, doctors and governments—each with distinct needs and expectations. To manage these diverse constituencies, I follow the EDGE framework, which highlights four key principles: 1. Expanded Perspective: As the public face of the organization, every word and action carries weight. CEOs must consistently think of themselves as bridges to the outside world, aware that their communication has far-reaching effects beyond internal operations. 2. Distinctive Leadership: Focus on what only the CEO can do. While many tasks can be delegated, critical messaging and direction should come directly from the top to reinforce the CEO’s authority and vision. 3. Growth-Oriented Mindset: Effective leaders communicate with a focus on growth, highlighting not just the organization's current value but its future potential and societal contributions. It’s crucial to embed this in every external interaction. 4. Engagement with Empathy: Beyond influencing, truly understand the perspectives of your stakeholders. Meeting them where they are and working from their vantage point fosters stronger, more meaningful relationships. In summary, by following these principles, CEOs can drive positive impact and ensure their organizations are positioned for sustainable success.