Reducing Stress In Negotiation

How top negotiators get more information under pressure. A simple technique most people overlook or misuse  in high-stakes deals. There’s one powerful technique that works wonders in negotiations but many people either overdo it or don’t know about it. It’s called 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗰 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴. As an ICF certified coach with over 15 years of experience in high-stakes negotiations, I've observed that this technique consistently yields results. How does it work? ↳ You slightly misstate what the other person's feeling or thinking.  On purpose. Why would it work? Consider this scenario: Counterpart: 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘮𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘶𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦. You: "It sounds like you're not confident about the deadline." Counterpart: "Not at all. We're confident, but we need to refine the scope a bit." Result: Critical new information unlocked. The reason why this technique works lies in human psychology.  ↳ We love to correct others.  ↳ It’s an innate drive. Especially when it comes to correcting misperceptions about ourselves. And in the process, we often reveal more than intended in the process. To use it effectively, follow these 3 tips: 1. Stay close to the truth, but miss the mark slightly 2. Use it sparingly (nobody likes a constant mis-understander) 3. Be ready to listen. Like, really listen. I explore this concept in depth in the video below on advanced negotiation tactics. For the negotiation experts among us:  What sophisticated techniques do you employ to uncover crucial information in high-stakes discussions? Share your insights below. Let's learn from our collective expertise. --------------------------------- Hi, I’m Scott Harrison and I help executive and leaders master negotiation & communication in high-pressure, high-stakes situations.  - ICF Coach and EQ-i Practitioner - 24 yrs | 19 countries | 150+ clients   - Negotiation | Conflict resolution | Closing deals 📩 DM me or book a discovery call (link in the Featured section)

How to negotiate from a position of power: ➡️ If you can’t say what you want in one sentence before you walk into the room, you’re not ready to negotiate. You’re still negotiating with yourself. Know the desired number, the scope, the term, and the outcome. Write it down. Say it out loud. Clarity kills hesitation. ➡️ Make the case once, then stop. You explain the value, you explain the reasoning, and then you go quiet. You give the other person space to respond. Confidence in a negotiation often shows up as restraint. Silence is NOT weakness. It’s patience and patience is power. ➡️ See it as a trade, not a battle. The moment you stop trying to convince and start trying to find overlap, everything shifts. What do you need? What do they need? Where does that meet? Negotiation reframed as problem-solving produces better outcomes for everyone and makes everyone walk away happier too. The preparation is what makes you calm when it matters. By the time you're sitting across the table, the work should already be done.

The best negotiators rarely talk about price. They focus on everything else. After decades of closing deals across three companies, here's what I've learned. Negotiation isn't about winning. It's about reaching a deal both sides would gladly sign again. Six principles guide every deal I make. 1️⃣ Preparation beats persuasion. The person with the most information wins before the meeting starts. Most sellers show up and hope. Top closers show up and know. 2️⃣ Interests over positions. Positions are what people say they want. Interests are why they want it. A buyer asking for 20% off might simply need budget cover. Solve the real problem, and price stops being the fight. 3️⃣ Silence is leverage. The next person to speak often loses. Ask your question. Then wait. Most sellers fill silence with concessions. Top closers let the silence do the work. 4️⃣ Anchor first. Anchor smart. Whoever sets the first number sets the frame. Anchor high, but make sure you can defend it. Don't let the other side define your value. 5️⃣ Trade, don't concede. Never give without getting. Free concessions signal weakness. Traded concessions create stronger deals. 6️⃣ Protect the relationship. The deal ends. The relationship continues. Negotiate in a way they'd gladly sign with you again. The same buyers often come back around. Six principles. Zero burned bridges. 💾 Save this before your next negotiation.

The hidden cost of saying 'yes' too quickly in negotiations: Around the time I started my business, I had a procurement call for a major contract. I was excited and wanted to get the deal done. But I fell into the trap of one concession after another: - First they wanted to pay less….”errr ok, I guess” - Then payment terms had to be changed…”don’t really want to, but if we must” - Then delivery times..."oh fine then!" At the end, I'd changed everything without really understanding how or why. I felt outmanoeuvred and wasn't as excited as I should have been about this new deal. The pressure to move quickly is intense - particularly in tech. But when it comes to negotiations—whether for a new role or a partnership—maybe we should slow things down. This is how I'd approach that same conversation now: 1. 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝘂𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀. What are your true priorities? What's genuinely non-negotiable? 2. 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘂𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗶𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆. A simple "Let's circle back to that" can be your most powerful tool. 3. 𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀. The best deals often emerge from creative problem-solving, not binary choices. 4. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗳𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗮𝗴𝗲. 5. 𝗕𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆. Knowing your worth and sticking to it is far better than accepting a sub-par deal. If you're negotiating a job, this approach is crucial! Cheesy analogy, but negotiations are a bit like chess: it's not about winning every move—it's about securing the best overall position. What's your most valuable negotiation lesson from interviewing? #LinkedInNewsEurope

“Just brush it under the carpet!” Do that, and you’ll see your organisation turn into an Ekta Kapoor TV serial, where everyone gossips about each other behind their back! Avoiding conflict might feel peaceful in the moment, but make no mistake... it builds frustration and creates invisible walls within the team, and that leads to gossip, groupism, politics, and at the end of it all, the business suffers. The right way to deal with conflict is to address it and have a mature conversation. Here’s how you do that: Step 1: Root Cause Analysis Dig deeper. Understand the situation. Ask each person why they feel the conflict started. The best way to do this is to use the ‘5 Whys’ technique. Ask “Why?” five times. Example: A & B are arguing over who’s at fault for a delayed project. Ask: 1) Why do you think the project got delayed? → B didn’t send the file on time. 2) Why didn’t B send the file on time? → The client delayed the project update. 3) Why was the update delayed? → Because C delayed the MVP delivery to the client. 4) Why did C delay it? → Because the timeline wasn’t documented, so everything was in the air. By the 4th “Why,” you realise: A & B are fighting over blame, but the real issue is the lack of a formal documentation process like CRM updates or email records. Step 2: Have a 1-on-1 Conversation Talk to each person privately. Just listen, without judgement. Listen not to respond, but to understand. This helps defuse emotions before the joint discussion. Step 3: Act as a Mediator Don’t be a ringmaster - be a mediator. Bring all parties together and facilitate the conversation. Don’t lecture or dictate. Focus on finding the solution, not figuring out who’s right. Step 4: Win-Win Solution Encourage them to find a resolution where all parties win, by solving the real problem together. Step 5: Action Steps & Follow-Up Close the conversation with clear next steps on the process and workflow going forward. Follow up after a few weeks to check if the solution is working. Share this with your network and help a business owner resolve team conflicts the right way.

If there's conflict in your team, how can you resolve it without aggression or escalation? And also without people-pleasing or giving away your power as a leader? The key here is: establish psychological safety. If your first response is to blame them, their guards will go up, and they will get defensive, because they will detect a threat i.e., lack of psychological safety. That's the end of the conversation and maybe even the relationship in extreme cases. Here are some examples: What NOT to Do: Dismiss or Ignore Concerns: Example: A team member raises an issue during a meeting, but it's brushed aside by the team leader without any further discussion. Instead: Acknowledge the concern and encourage open dialogue to understand its root cause and potential impact. What NOT to Do: Blame or Shame Individuals: Example: When a mistake is made, publicly assigning blame to a specific team member. Instead: Approach errors as learning opportunities for the entire team, focusing on solutions rather than assigning fault. Give constructive feedback in private. What NOT to Do: Dominate Discussions: Example: A few outspoken team members monopolize discussions, making it difficult for others to contribute their perspectives. Instead: Facilitate balanced participation by actively encouraging quieter team members to share their thoughts and ensuring everyone has an opportunity to speak. What TO Do Instead: Encourage Open Communication: Example: Create regular opportunities for team members to share their thoughts, concerns, and feedback in a safe and non-judgmental environment, such as through regular team meetings or anonymous suggestion boxes. Model Vulnerability: Example: Leaders openly admit their own mistakes or uncertainties, demonstrating that it's acceptable to be imperfect and fostering a culture of trust and authenticity. Provide Constructive Feedback: Example: When addressing performance issues, focus on specific behaviours or outcomes rather than attacking the individual's character. Offer guidance on how to improve and support them in their development. Celebrate Diversity of Thought: Example: Encourage team members to bring diverse perspectives to the table, recognizing that differing viewpoints can lead to more robust solutions. Celebrate successes that result from collaborative efforts. Establish Clear Norms: Example: Set explicit ground rules for communication and conflict resolution within the team, emphasizing the importance of respect, active listening, and maintaining confidentiality. Did this help? Then give this post a 👍🏼

Negotiation Fatigue: A Hidden Dealbreaker (and Often a Deliberate Tactic) Have you ever been in a negotiation that stretched on so long you felt mentally and physically exhausted? That feeling of being worn down is known as 'negotiation fatigue'—and it can lead to poor decisions, concessions, and accepting subpar deals just to get it over with. In fact, some zero-sum negotiators intentionally use this as a tactic. They believe that by dragging out the negotiation, they can wear you down, pushing you into a corner where you’ll give up more than you originally intended. This type of approach relies on techniques that focus on **exploiting exhaustion** rather than building mutual value. But there’s a better way: SMARTnership Negotiation. One of the most effective tools to avoid falling into the fatigue trap is setting 'rules of engagement' before you even begin the negotiation. 'Negotiating how to negotiate' ensures both sides agree on the process, including the timeline, communication methods, and decision-making criteria. This collaborative approach prevents unnecessary delays and power plays designed to drain energy. SMARTnership takes it a step further by focusing on 'trust, collaboration, and mutual gain'. Instead of getting stuck in positional bargaining, where both sides dig in and fatigue sets in, SMARTnership fosters transparency and shared goals. The key is creating 'asymmetric value' through 'NegoEconomics', where both parties benefit from the unique values they bring to the table. By agreeing on the 'rules of engagement' upfront and working together, you bypass the drain of traditional, adversarial negotiations. You build trust, reduce risks, cut unnecessary costs, and generate more profits for both sides. So, the next time you're stuck in a never-ending negotiation, ask yourself: Is this really about finding a solution, or is it just a battle of wills designed to wear you down? The answer could change your approach entirely. Avoid the fatigue. Embrace 'rules of engagement' and a value-driven, collaborative approach with SMARTnership. #Negotiation #NegotiationFatigue #SMARTnership #NegoEconomics #TrustCurrency #RulesOfEngagement #BusinessStrategy #Collaboration #MutualGain BMI Executive Institute UCLouvain I BMI Executive Institute World Commerce & Contracting AAU Executive - MBA and HD at Aalborg University Tine Anneberg Jason Myrowitz Gražvydas Jukna Francis Goh, FSIArb, FCIArb Pedro Carmo

𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗛𝘂𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗘𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 Conflict in the workplace is inevitable. But the way you handle it can make or break team dynamics. → Many leaders struggle to resolve conflicts. → They react defensively. → They prioritize being right over finding solutions. This approach often exacerbates issues and erodes trust. But there’s a powerful tool that’s often overlooked: Humility. Wondering why humility is so effective in conflict resolution? Here’s why: → It fosters open communication. → It builds trust and respect. → It shifts focus from blame to understanding. Here’s how you can use humility to enhance conflict resolution: 1️⃣ 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆: → Humble leaders truly listen. → They seek to understand, not just respond. → This approach makes team members feel heard and valued. 2️⃣ 𝗔𝗰𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀: → Everyone makes mistakes, including leaders. → Admitting your errors shows you’re human and approachable. → It encourages others to be honest and open about their own mistakes. 3️⃣ 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: → Humble leaders put the team’s needs first. → They focus on finding solutions that benefit everyone, not just themselves. → This mindset fosters collaboration and mutual respect. 4️⃣ 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗻 𝗢𝗽𝗲𝗻 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱: → Assume you don’t have all the answers. → Be willing to consider other perspectives and ideas. → This openness can lead to creative solutions and stronger team bonds. 5️⃣ 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗙𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀: → Speak kindly, even during disagreements. → Show respect for different viewpoints. → This creates a safe environment where everyone feels comfortable contributing. 6️⃣ 𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗗𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘂𝗲: → Encourage team members to share their thoughts. → Guide discussions toward understanding and resolution. → This helps to diffuse tension and build consensus. 7️⃣ 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗹𝘆: → After conflicts are resolved, take time to reflect on what you learned. → Use these insights to improve your conflict resolution skills. → This continuous learning helps you grow as a leader and strengthens your team. Using humility doesn’t mean being weak or indecisive. It’s about showing strength through understanding, patience, and the willingness to grow. In a world where leadership is often equated with authority and control, embracing humility sets you apart. It creates a foundation of trust, respect, and collaboration, leading to a more cohesive and productive team. Ready to embrace humility in your leadership approach? Start by listening, acknowledging, and valuing your team’s contributions. #Leadership #ConflictResolution #Humility #TeamBuilding #EffectiveCommunication #Respect

Every conversation where you adjust, agree, or hold back… is a negotiation. From deadlines to salaries to responsibilities, you’re negotiating every day. The problem is, you’re often losing without realising it. Because most of the advice women receive sounds good: “Be collaborative.” “Keep it win-win.” “Don’t be too aggressive.” But used blindly, it costs you. Because negotiation is not about being nice. It’s about choosing the right approach for the situation. 𝟏. 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 (𝐰𝐢𝐧-𝐰𝐢𝐧) Use this when the relationship matters long-term. When both sides need each other. When there’s real value to build together. 𝐄𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞: You’ve taken on more responsibilities over time. You say: “I’m happy to support wherever needed.” Result: More work. Same pay. 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐜 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞: You say,  “I’ve taken on X, Y, Z. If this is the new scope, let’s align it with my role and compensation.” 𝟐. 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 (𝐰𝐢𝐧-𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞) Use this when the stakes are high and you have leverage. Or when it’s a one-time, transactional deal. 𝐄𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞(salary offer / vendor / deal): You’re given an offer that’s below your value. You think: “I don’t want to lose this opportunity.” So you accept. Or negotiate lightly. Result: You lock in a lower baseline. 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐜 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞: “Based on my experience and the scope, I’m looking at X. If that’s not possible, I’m happy to explore other opportunities.” Clear. Direct. Willing to walk away. 𝟑. 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞 (𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝) Use this when time is limited. When both sides need closure. And optimisation is less important than momentum. 𝐄𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞(home / shared responsibilities): You take on more responsibilities at home because it’s faster than discussing it. Result: It becomes the default. 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐜 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞: “I’ll take this on today. Let’s split this differently going forward.” Many women default to collaboration. Even when the situation requires something else. To avoid discomfort. To avoid being seen as difficult. And that comes at a cost. Because not every situation deserves a win-win. I’ve seen this play out across boardrooms, meetings, and even at home. That’s also why negotiation is one of the most requested workshops I run. Because once you see this pattern, you can’t unsee it. More women need to hear this: Sometimes you need to hold your ground. Sometimes you need to push. Sometimes you need to close quickly. The question is not: “What kind of negotiator am I?” It’s: “𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐞?” The best negotiators are not nice. They are not aggressive. They are adaptable.

Conflict isn’t an enemy. Poor handling of it is. In healthy workplaces, tension will emerge, over priorities, personalities, power, and progress. The best leaders don’t fear conflict. They don’t avoid it. And they certainly don’t fan its flames. 🟨 They step in with steadiness. 🟨 They de-escalate with intent. 🟨 They create clarity where confusion could reign. If you're dealing with silent resistance, sharp emails, turf wars, or unspoken jealousy, consider this - it’s not the presence of conflict that derails a team. It’s the absence of skill in navigating it. Here’s a practical set of strategies that have worked for me and those I now work with - 🔷 Breathe Before You Speak. The fastest way to derail a conversation is to jump in too soon. Start by asking: “What might be happening beneath the surface?” 🔷 Get Clear on the Core Issue. Is this about control? Clarity? Respect? Ego? Naming the real issue helps everyone respond more wisely. 🔷 Stay Grounded, Even When It’s Personal. Notice your emotional cues. Respond from curiosity, not combat. It’s hard, and worth it. 🔷 Model Constructive Disagreement. Don’t shut down conflict. Shape it. When teams know how to disagree well, innovation follows. 🔷 Recognise the Subtle Signs of Jealousy. It’s rarely overt. But it can show up as snide comments, cold shoulders, or overcompensating. Be kind, be firm, and guard your energy. 🔷 Plan Before the Big Conversation. Walk in with your purpose clear, your tone calm, your first sentence ready & your boundaries in place. Handled with skill, conflict can become a catalyst for trust, better decisions, and a stronger, more honest culture. #Leadership #ConflictSkills #EmotionalIntelligence #CultureBuilding #Teamwork #LeadershipDevelopment