Negotiation Role-Playing Exercises

"I have a bone to pick with you." That's how I opened a recent conversation with an executive. Spoiler: It didn't land well. 🫠 (𝘐’𝘮 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘓𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘥𝘐𝘯, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴, 𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴.) I came in with a strong point of view, ready to advocate for my position. It was in opposition to a decision she made but that could still be changed. "She'll appreciate that I have conviction!" I thought confidently. But instead of sparking a productive debate, I miscalculated. The executive gently stopped me. She offered advice I'll never forget and have been thinking about days since: "Consider the context around how I made this decision." In that moment, I realized I'd skipped a crucial step: curiosity before challenge. Here's what I learned about challenging up, why my approach was all wrong, and what you can learn from my mistake. This advice is great if you're a current or aspiring #chiefofstaff but also applicable to anyone working to improve their persuasion skills. 1️⃣ 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. Instead of jumping in with a firm stance, start with, "I'm curious how you landed on this decision." This simple shift creates space for dialogue. It might even change your perspective before you voice your challenge. (In my case, as soon as I had more context, I changed my tune. If only I had led with curiosity...) 2️⃣ 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘃𝘀. 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗣𝗢𝗩. Here's how I think about the difference: An informed opinion means you've thought critically but remain open to learning; a strong point of view (POV) usually means you've already decided the best course of action and are looking for buy-in. Generally, if the decision is in your domain/area of expertise, it's good to have your recommendation (POV) ready. For broader strategic decisions, almost always seek to understand first. 3️⃣ 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 — 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁. Compare "I disagree with this approach" to "Here's something I've been thinking about. Could I share my perspective?" Both convey your conviction, but one does it WAY more effectively. The former shuts down dialogue; the latter invites discussion. This experience taught me an important truth: The most effective persuaders aren't just those with strong convictions. They're the ones who master the dance between inquiry and advocacy. 💃 And even in an AI-driven world, persuading other humans will continue to be an in-demand skill. Whether you're early in your career or sitting at the executive table, understanding this balance can transform how your points are received. It might even change some strong opinions you thought you had. It did for me. (𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘺 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘈𝘐.)

The Orange dilemma: Why splitting the difference might be splitting the opportunity Picture this: You’re in a #negotiation class. You’ve been paired with a stranger, given one orange, & told both of you need it. Naturally, everyone’s inner toddler emerges. "Mine!" echoes silently. The clock is ticking. What do you do? Most pairs—proud of their brilliance—cut the orange in half. Problem solved? Not quite. Both walk away with 50% of what they need. But here’s the kicker—nobody asks why their partner wants the orange. Now imagine this: one person needs the juice, the other needs the rind. Instead of splitting, they could both get 100% of what they want—if only someone had asked: "Why do you need the orange?" This isn’t just a fruity parable; it’s a reflection of what happens in #business negotiations all the time. Harvard research on integrative negotiation strategies highlights that focusing on interests (not positions) leads to higher-value outcomes. Yet, most negotiators default to positional bargaining—fighting over the orange—without ever exploring the underlying reasons. The "split the orange" mindset plagues businesses: • Budget battles: Two departments argue over resources & end up sharing a meager slice instead of collaborating to unlock new funding sources. • Partnership deals: Companies compromise on terms instead of digging deeper to discover complementary goals. • Hiring negotiations: Employers haggle over salary without discussing non-monetary benefits that might satisfy both parties. According to a study by The Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, #negotiations that prioritize interest-based solutions create 42% more joint value than those that default to splitting the pie. Yet, businesses often rush to divide rather than multiply outcomes. Why we default to splitting? 1. Lack of curiosity: People focus on positions (“I need the orange”) instead of interests (“I need juice”). 2. Time pressure: Urgency pushes quick fixes. 3. Fear of rejection: Asking deeper questions feels risky. 4. Cognitive biases: Daniel Kahneman calls this "System 1 Thinking"—the brain’s tendency to leap to conclusions without critical analysis. To avoid the orange fiasco in your next negotiation, try these tips: • Start with 'Why?': Understanding motivations creates better outcomes. • Focus on interests, not positions: Ask, "What problem are you trying to solve?" • Be curious, not combative: Approach negotiations like a detective, not a gladiator. • Expand, don’t divide: Harvard’s Getting to Yes promotes win-win solutions by enlarging the pie. Next time you’re negotiating—whether budgets, partnerships, or literal oranges—don’t rush to slice. Instead, peel back the layers, squeeze out details, & zest up your curiosity. Because the best deals aren’t made by cutting things in half. They’re made by finding ways for everyone to walk away whole. So, ask the question that could change everything: "Why do you need the orange?" #Leadership

“I Don’t Think We Can Afford You.” That’s what the CEO said after I delivered a pitch to train their leadership team. I smiled and said, “Fair. But can I ask—what’s the cost of having untrained leaders make one wrong decision?” Pause. The energy shifted. I didn’t argue. I asked. I didn’t push. I anchored. Negotiation isn’t about winning. It’s about understanding leverage, timing, and psychology. Here’s what worked in that moment: 1. Anchoring: I reframed the cost—not of hiring me, but of not hiring me. 2. Scarcity: I gently mentioned my limited slots (truthfully)—people pay more for what’s rare. 3. Mirroring: I used their language and pace to build rapport. 4. Reciprocity: I offered a one-time bonus masterclass if they signed that week—value first. 5. Loss Aversion: Humans are wired to avoid loss more than they are to chase gain. I let that psychology speak for me. We closed. Full fee. No discount. 6-month retainer. Negotiation is not about being louder. It’s about being smarter, calmer, and more psychologically aware. Train your voice. Train your presence. And most importantly—train your mind. #NegotiationSkills #ExecutivePresence #SoftSkills #CommunicationCoach #Psychology #LeadershipDevelopment #CorporateTraining #LinkedInInfluencer

You don’t need authority to be influential. Picture this: You're leading a cross-department project and you've come up with a great idea. But now, you need approval to move forward. How do you get it? Influence and persuasion start with trust. 💡 The Trust Equation states: Trustworthiness = (Credibility + Reliability + Connection) ÷ Self-Orientation. In other words, trust takes more than just being honest. You also have to keep your commitments and be seen as someone who cares about others. 💡 Cialdini's 7 Principles give you another guide: 1. Authority: Share your expertise ↳ "I've successfully led 3 similar projects." 2. Social Proof: Show others' buy-in ↳ "Marketing and Sales already support this." 3. Liking: Build genuine rapport ↳ "I appreciate your insights on our last project." 4. Scarcity: Create urgency ↳ "We have a limited window to capitalize on this." 5. Reciprocity: Offer value first ↳ "Let me first help you achieve your top priorities." 6. Commitment: Start small, then scale ↳ "How about we run a quick pilot to test this idea?" 7. Unity: Find common ground ↳ "As a team committed to innovation..." Both your actions and words matters. As well as how you say those words. 💡 Use the SOFTEN Model to build instant rapport: S = Smile: A genuine smile sets a positive tone O = Open Posture: Show you're receptive and engaged F = Forward Lean: Stay focused on the conversation T = Tone: Use a warm, friendly tone of voice E = Eye Contact: Keep steady, comfortable eye contact N = Nod: Show active listening and agreement Remember: Influence isn't about manipulation. It's about clear communication and mutual benefit. When you focus on creating value, you naturally become more persuasive. And that gives you huge advantages:  — Greenlights for your projects — Career advancement — Stronger network — Better results Build trust, create value, apply these principles. Focus there and the opportunities will come. ♻️ Find this valuable? Repost to help others. Follow @vince jeong for posts on leadership, learning and systems thinking. Hi 👋 I'm Vince, CEO of Sparkwise. We help teams master skills together with engaging live group learning available on demand. DM me for a free demo.

For the first time, different negotiation styles were compared inside the same negotiation — live, objectively, and with AI. This study was conducted and run live on LinkedIn by the team behind Negotiations for Project Managers – Effective Negotiations Using AI (2025), led by Misael Castro Rosas. This is the second independent exercise in the last month, using the same setup, where SMARTnership Negotiation delivered the strongest collaborative and value-generating outcome compared to other leading negotiation models. What matters is not the result itself — but how it was measured. What has changed Until recently, comparing negotiation approaches objectively was extremely difficult. AI now makes it possible to evaluate different negotiation styles inside the same negotiation, under identical conditions — not different cases, facilitators, or subjective interpretations. What the study tested Three well-known negotiation approaches were applied to one identical scenario: Chris Voss – Tactical Empathy Jordan Belfort – Straight Line Persuasion Dr. Keld Jensen’s SMARTnership The case was deliberately realistic: Engineering requested a $900K investment Finance targeted a $544K cost reduction Leadership needed to protect $12M in annual revenue AI was used to assess behavior, collaboration, decision quality, and value creation. What the comparison showed Each approach delivered what it was designed to deliver: Chris Voss' Tactical Empathy reduced tension and built trust, but only partially resolved the economic challenge. Jordan Belfort's Straight Line Persuasion drove fast decisions, with higher relational and financial risk. Dr. Keld Jensen’s SMARTnership introduced transparency, shared ownership, joint ROI tracking, and benefit-sharing — producing the most balanced and sustainable outcome. This wasn’t an opinion. It was the same negotiation, compared objectively. Why this matters For decades, negotiation models have been debated through stories and personal preference. AI now allows a tougher question: Which approach actually performs best when value, trust, collaboration, and long-term outcomes are measured side by side? For the second time in a month, independent exercises point in the same direction. Final thought If a negotiation approach cannot be evaluated objectively, it will eventually be replaced by one that can. The full text is attached for download for those who want to go deeper. Next time you select a negotiation trainer or advisor, inquire about the tangible financial results they have delivered for their clients. #negotiation The Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School #trust BMI Executive Institute Global Gurus Taha Farhan Tine Anneberg Gražvydas Jukna Juan Manuel García P. Jason Myrowitz Allan Jensen World Commerce & Contracting Tiffany Kemp Moïse NOUBISSI

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 Happens all the time A strategic word, perfect pause Now, you're agreeing, nodding, making decisions That’s not coincidence. It’s 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 In negotiations it’s a superpower. Cialdini’s 7 Principles of Influence shaped how we build trust, create alignment, and drive decisions When negotiating, I never manipulate I use the principles to guide people to a "𝙮𝙚𝙨" they believe in If you give before you get. Offer something of value- it returns to you Studies show waiters who gave extra mints with the bill saw 𝘁𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝘆 20% → Thats 𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 Small actions lead to bigger commitment. You're often influenced to subscribe or buy All those free trials pushed on you They create a pattern of saying "yes” In negotiations, start small and build momentum → Thats 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆 We’re hard-wired to follow the crowd. -92% 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 Share success stories, testimonials, or those who said "yes" to your Offer → Thats 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝘂𝘀 (𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳) Your credentials, experience, track record all make your case stronger It’s not arrogance, it’s confidence → Thats 𝗔𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 People say yes to people they like. - Give genuine compliments - Find common ground - Relationships matter - Build rapport → Thats 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 If something feels limited, its value increases Urgency can stem from deadlines, exclusivity, or limited slots Studies show scarcity can boost perceived value by 26% → Thats 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 It’s not “me vs. you.” It’s “𝘄𝗲” Frame the conversation as a shared challenge. Use phrases like: “𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧?” You'll create alignment → Thats 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 Briefly here's an example I struggled with a sceptical client. So, I shifted gears: I gave them a free consultation (𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺) Asked for a small trial period (𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘺) Shared success stories (𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘴) Highlighted my team’s track record (𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘺) Found shared goals (𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨) Positioned the offer as limited-time (𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺) Framed our conversation as a partnership (𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺). When you’re preparing for your next negotiation, think about these principles. Which could you apply to build trust, connect more deeply, or align your counterpart with your goals? Never forget that these same principles are often 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪. The next time you feel influenced, step back and analyze it. The more conscious you are of these principles, the better you can use them ♻️ 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 ----------------------------- 📩 Subscribe on LinkedIn to my weekly newsletter, "𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘆": https://lnkd.in/g2wWGJGQ

Ever noticed how one colleague always gets their ideas approved while others keep explaining but never convince? It’s not confidence. It’s psychology at play. Persuasion isn’t about talking louder or longer It’s about understanding how people think. When you are in a meeting, people don’t care about - Your background - Your last quarter’s results - Your unknown skillsets They care about - How can your ideas benefit them? - How can you make a difference to them? - Why should they listen only to you? And the best professionals use subtle psychological cues that make others say “yes” without feeling pushed. Let’s look at a few of them 1. The Foot in the door Effect We never smash a door to invade someone’s privacy. We knock and ask first. Similarly, ask for something small first. Example: “Can you review just the first slide?” and once they do, they’re far more likely to review the rest. 2. The Because Principle People love reasons. Even simple ones. Clarify why you need what you need. Example: “I’d appreciate your feedback because this deck is going to the client tomorrow” gets faster responses than “Please review.” 3. Reciprocity Rule Do something helpful first and share insights, feedback, or support. People naturally want to return the favor Example: You help a teammate polish their client pitch this week. Two weeks later, when you need quick data for your report, they go out of their way to get it done for you 4. Consistency Bias Link your request to something they already agreed to. Example: “You mentioned earlier that speed is our top priority. This process will help with that.” 5. Contrast Effect Position your idea next to a tougher alternative. Example: “If not a two-day workshop, we can start with a 2-hour micro-session.” Suddenly, the smaller option feels easy to accept. Persuasion isn’t manipulation. It’s making good ideas easier to agree with. The next time you want to convince someone, ask yourself: “Am I trying to win the point or win the person?” You will understand what needs to be done next #persuasion #softskills #personaldevelopment #corporatetraining #careergrowth #communicationskills

Poor communication in meetings costs companies $1000s/employee/yr. Nail your meeting communication using the Pyramid Principle. Ever struggled to make your point in a meeting? The Pyramid Principle solves this. It’s a structured communication method that ensures your message is clear, impactful, and decision-ready. The Key Idea: Lead With the Answer Most people communicate bottom-up—they explain background, context, and details before revealing the conclusion. But busy executives (and clients) don’t have time for that. McKinsey’s approach flips this: - Start with the answer (your key insight or recommendation) - Support it with 2-4 key arguments - Back those up with data and facts This top-down method ensures clarity and efficiency. The Pyramid in Action Imagine you’re a consultant presenting to a CEO about declining profits. Here’s how most people approach it: Bottom-Up (Less Effective): "We analyzed sales data across regions. We noticed a drop in customer retention and declining order values. Further research showed that competitors are offering aggressive discounts, which is affecting pricing power. We believe addressing customer loyalty and pricing strategy can help. Therefore, we recommend launching a targeted loyalty program." Now, let’s use The Pyramid Principle. Top-Down Communication: "We recommend launching a customer loyalty program to address declining profits. Our analysis shows that: (1) Retention dropped 15% last quarter. (2) Competitors are winning customers with aggressive discounts. (3) High-value customers are shifting to premium loyalty programs elsewhere. By launching a loyalty program, we can increase retention by 10% and boost profits by $5M annually." See the difference? The key recommendation comes first, followed by structured arguments and supporting data. Why This Works: Saves Time – Decision-makers get the key insight instantly. Boosts Clarity – Eliminates rambling and unnecessary details. Drives Action – A structured approach makes recommendations more compelling. Increases Persuasiveness – Logical flow enhances credibility. Top consulting firms swear by this method—and now, so can you!

Influence Like a Diplomat: The Power of 𝙋𝙧𝙚-Suasion. The word “influence” makes most people squirm. It feels like manipulation - like you’re tricking someone into a decision they wouldn’t normally make. But 20 years as a diplomat taught me something very different: Real influence doesn’t start with persuasion. It starts 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 you speak. People assume diplomats are master negotiators. In reality, we’re master 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗿𝘀. → We shape the room 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 we ever shape the argument. → We set the emotional temperature. → We frame what people are already paying attention to. → We create the conditions for collaboration long before the meeting begins. Because influence isn’t what you say - it’s what the room has already decided to hear. The leaders I work with face challenges that diplomacy prepares you for: → Leading people you don’t directly control → Managing across different generations → Navigating office politics with almost no political cover → Making decisions in noisy, high-pressure environments And diplomats learn to do all this while constantly adapting to new cultures, crises and power dynamics - often overnight. That’s why diplomats rely on 𝗽𝗿𝗲-𝘀𝘂𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻: shaping attention 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 the conversation, so influence becomes the natural outcome, not the hard-won battle. Here are 7 diplomatic moves that quietly shape outcomes long before the main discussion starts: 𝟭. 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁, 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗟𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 Unexpected value softens the ground for future collaboration. → Proactively help someone solve their issue before you raise yours. 𝟮. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 Warmth lowers defences instantly. → “I loved how you handled X - could I get your take on something similar?” 𝟯. 𝗦𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝘁 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗲 Show that others have succeeded with your approach - it reduces perceived risk. → "Our team in the US had this challenge too, here's how their solution played out" 𝟰. 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗲, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗘𝗴𝗼 Humble authority builds trust. → “I’m still learning the technical side, but here’s what I’ve seen before…” 𝟱. 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗨𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗰𝘆 Highlight time-sensitive windows, not fake deadlines. → “While we’re debating, competitors are moving.” 𝟲. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗦𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹, 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗠𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘂𝗺 Micro-commitments unlock macro decisions. → “What if we test this with one team?” 𝟳. 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 (𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿) Shared identity dissolves resistance. → “We’re facing the same pressures - let’s find the smartest way through.” Most people focus on perfecting their pitch. Diplomats focus on preparing the room. The best influence doesn’t feel like influence at all because it’s already happened before anyone speaks. Which of these 7 would you like me to break down next? → Comment the number and I’ll create a dedicated post on it.