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After analyzing 1,000s of first impressions it’s clear: A first impression is made before you say a single word. And there are 3 mistakes costing you opportunities: For context, most people (especially introverts) want to believe their first impression starts when they start speaking. The science says otherwise: Someone decides if they like you, trust you or want to work with you, the moment they first see you - when you walk into a room, open a door, or even when someone looks at your profile picture. After analyzing thousands of first encounters, I've identified what I call the 'triple threat' of first impression mistakes that people unknowingly make: 1. Making yourself small: Tucking your arms close to your sides and hunching your shoulders signals low confidence and submissiveness. The less space you take up, the less powerful you appear. This is why waiting for your job interview or date while checking your phone is sabotaging you before you've said hello. Every time you look down at your device, you accidentally adopt what scientists call the 'universal defeat posture': - chin tucked - shoulders hunched - making yourself small In evolutionary terms, you literally look like a loser. (Yikes!) 2. Hiding your hands: When your hands are in pockets, under the table, or out of sight, it creates subconscious distrust. Evolutionarily, we need to see hands to feel safe and assess intentions. 3. Avoiding eye contact: We experience a chemical burst of oxytocin during direct eye contact, which increases trust and connection. Avoiding eye contact in those first few seconds prevents this critical bonding opportunity. Research shows these first impressions are lasting. If you've made a bad one, recovery is difficult - but not impossible if you practice the right body language. Instead, adopt the confident alternative: - keep your hands visible and expressive - take up appropriate space with good posture - make deliberate eye contact in the first few seconds Master these 3 elements and you'll create positive, accurate first impressions that open doors rather than close them.

Silence is often misunderstood. Yet, its power in communication is undeniable: → It fosters respect and encourages open sharing. → It keeps the audience engaged, eager to hear what's next. → It provides a moment for both parties to process information. → It allows for thoughtful responses, leading to meaningful conversations. → It communicates empathy, surprise, or contemplation, enriching interactions. But how can we harness this powerful tool effectively? The key lies in mindful application 1. Practice Mindful Pausing: Before responding, take a breath. This shows you value the other person's words and are considering your response carefully. 2. Embrace Comfortable Silence Don't rush to fill every pause. Allow quiet moments, especially during important discussions. This creates a safe space for deeper dialogue. 3. Use Pauses in Presentations Incorporate strategic pauses in speeches or presentations.   This gives your audience time to absorb key points and adds emphasis to your message. Remember, silence is not merely the absence of sound, it's a powerful communication tool. Embracing silence can enhance our listening skills, strengthen relationships, and improve overall communication effectiveness. Sometimes, saying nothing can say it all.

Story time: Last month I spoke at The Coca-Cola Company Career Month event, hosted by their Disability Inclusion Network. We had over 300 people in person and virtual. During the Q&A, someone asked a thoughtful question that deserved more than a quick reply. So instead of rushing to cover the silence, I said: “That’s a great question, let me take a moment to organize my thoughts.” I paused for 5 seconds, then answered. Afterwards, one attendee shared this feedback: “I loved the way she vocalized when she needed to take a minute to organize her thoughts!” You may be thinking "what's the big deal?" Here's why this matters: 🔑 Processing speeds vary. Some people need more time than others to process information. It could be because of ADHD, a learning disability, a brain injury, Long COVID, social anxiety or a new parent who didn't sleep last night. 🔑 Processing time is not related to intelligence. Needing a moment to organize thoughts doesn't mean someone isn't capable. Many times it leads to more thoughtful responses. 🔑 Forcing a quick answer can cause stress and anxiety. Then, the more anxious someone feels, the slower they may process information. Here's simple things YOU can say to make someone feel safe: - "Take your time." - "If you need more time, feel free to email me after the meeting." - "Thank you for that thoughtful response." - "Great question. Let me gather my thoughts.” (model it) A couple more actions to try for your next meeting: - Send agendas and materials in advance. Let people review topics early so they can prepare - Build in time for questions. - Give thinking time. For example: “Let’s pause for two minutes to gather our thoughts before we discuss." - Avoid putting people on the spot or give them the option to respond later. Try "Joe, I’d love your input on this. Would you like to speak now or email me afterward?" It’s OK to pause. It's OK to need time to gather your thoughts. Rushing, rushing, rushing is not the way to be effective at work. I think we can all afford to take a moment to pause, breathe, be patient, and make time for everyone to participate. 😊 What are your thoughts on this? Thank you Coca-Cola for this opportunity to discuss neurodiversity and my career journey! #neurodiversity #CognitiveAccessibility #Neuroinclusion [Image Description: Photo 1: Group photo of Margaux with Coca-Cola team members in front of the event stage Alisa Fiser, Shayla Frinks, MBA, SPHR, Magdalena Lopez, Katharyne Gabriel, Margaux Joffe, Kevin M. Smith, Esther Ruiz Isart, Stephen Mulvenna (from left to right). Photo 2: Margaux and Katharyne seated on a stage speaking in a fireside chat. Behind them a large pink screen with their headshots, Katharyne Gabriel, Sr VP people and Culture NAOU, Margaux Joffe Founder, Minds of All Kinds. The Coca-Cola Company Thrive logo. Margaux is wearing a white suit with a navy blue shirt and green heels. Katharyne is wearing a bright pink blazer, jeans and a Fanta T-shirt. ]

The leader leaned forward on the table, clicky pen posed to write, his legs crossed at the ankles, and said, “Kerri, this is the body language I’d most often have when starting a conversation. I feel comfortable. Can I do what feels natural?” He was in a coaching presence pilot I’m running and we had just reviewed body language - specifically the body language they’d use at the beginning of a coaching conversation. I moved a chair across from him, imagining he was my leader and how his body language would make me feel. I said, “Your body is giving me the impression you’re ready to solve a problem. And my sense is that you’d solve it for me, maybe not with me. So, if I was your employee and I had a technical or strategic problem, I might like tour body language. But if I’ve been called in for a coaching call, I don’t feel at ease. I don’t feel there is space or time for me to reflect or figure things out for myself. I’d take your physical cue and start brainstorming or solving, instead of reflecting and exploring. Now, if you uncrossed your legs, dropped the pen, and sat a little more back and asked me a question, I’d be open. And if the conversation got to a problem solving mode, and you moved forward to this gesture, I’d know you were right beside me to figure things out.” When you study leader body language, remember it’s okay to change your body to match the intention of the message. So, the start of a coaching call or presentation may look and feel physically different as you get into things. That starting gesture impacts the initial tone. Try this for yourself. Imagine you’re going to start a coaching conversation. What does your body naturally do? Do the gesture infront of some trusted advisers and peers. Ask them, “How does this gesture make you feel?” The places that make the most impact is feet placement, posture, the hands, and your eyes. Play with switching those up. The hard part is making it feel natural. So once you’ve learned how to adapt the body slightly, try assuming that pose more often until it feels natural. That will set you, and the coachee, at ease for a possibly transformative coaching conversation. #leadershipdevelopment #leaderpresence #careerstories

🧠 What if the quiet moments in your meetings aren’t disengagement—but a cultural signal you’re misreading? As a global team leader, silence can feel uncomfortable. When no one responds right away, your mind fills in the gaps: 💠 Are they confused? 💠 Disagreeing? 💠 Withholding feedback? But here’s the truth—silence is not universal. Across cultures, it carries very different meanings, and misinterpreting it is one of the most common (and costly) cross-cultural blind spots. 📢 What’s really happening—and why it matters In many Western cultures, quick verbal responses signal engagement and alignment. Silence feels awkward or even threatening. In contrast, research in cross-cultural communication consistently shows that in many Asian and Nordic cultures, some Indigenous groups, silence signals respect, reflection, and careful thought. When leaders misread silence, the impact is real: ➡️Projects slow as assumptions replace clarity ➡️Feedback gets misinterpreted ➡️Psychological safety erodes ➡️Diverse voices quietly disengage Over time, teams stop sharing ideas—not because they don’t care, but because the cost of being misunderstood feels too high. ✏️✏️How culturally competent leaders turn silence into a strength These evidence-based strategies help leaders master cultural differences without walking on eggshells: 1️⃣ Normalize the cultural meaning of silence Help team members understand that cultures use silence differently and that both reflection and verbal engagement are valued. 2️⃣ Build “structured wait time” into discussions Say it out loud: “Let’s take 20–30 seconds to think before responding.” Research shows this increases participation and reduces anxiety for reflective communicators. 3️⃣ Offer multiple modes of participation Use chat, shared documents, polls, or follow-up messages so silence never equals invisibility. 4️⃣ Check interpretations before making assumptions Model curiosity: “Should I interpret this silence as agreement or reflection?” This single habit dramatically increases psychological safety. ✨✨The result: inclusion, engagement, and performance. When leaders stop fearing silence, meetings change. Trust deepens. Decisions move faster. Diverse perspectives surface. Teams feel seen, respected, and empowered to contribute fully. That’s inclusive leadership in action—and it’s how global teams turn cultural differences into a competitive advantage. 🌍✨ ☎️☎️If this message resonates, it may be time for a Cultural Clarity Call. 📍You’ll find the link right on my banner #MasteringCulturalDifferences #CulturalCompetence #InclusiveLeadership #GlobalTeams #LeadershipDevelopment 

A joke was made. The laughter faded. The silence lingered 😬 It wasn’t about me, just casual banter, no bad intentions. But the topic? Slightly culturally sensitive for a foreign friend in the group. At first, chuckles, then… silence. That split second where everyone wonders: “Wait… was that okay?” And here’s the part that stuck with me - no one knew what to do next. The person who made the joke hesitated, the foreign friend who might’ve been affected smiled politely. Someone else changed the subject and just like that, the moment passed. But... did it? Because here’s what I realized: 🔸 Awkward silence is a leadership moment in disguise. 🔸 What we do next - ignore it, acknowledge it, smooth it over. shapes the kind of space we create. Great leaders don’t just talk, they create spaces where people feel like they belong. 1️⃣ They read the room  They don’t just hear words, they notice reactions, body language and the energy in the space. 2️⃣ They check in Not everything needs to be addressed publicly, but a quiet “Hey, are you okay?” can go a long way. 3️⃣ They model awareness If they make a misstep, they acknowledge it.  A simple “That didn’t come out right” teaches that growth matters more than perfection. Because here’s the truth: 🔹Silence isn’t just the absence of sound. It’s the presence of fear 🔹And this is bigger than just humor. This is about psychological safety. People won’t always speak up when something doesn’t sit right with them. They’ll stay quiet in meetings, avoid risk, nod along even when they disagree. Not because they have nothing to say, but because they’ve learned it’s safer not to. 🔸Have you ever witnessed an “awkward silence” moment like this?  🔸How did you react? Step in, smooth over, or stay silent?  🔸And looking back, would you do it differently? #Leadership #PsychologicalSafety #Communication #CulturalAwareness

We all need to get over the awkwardness of silence In coaching and leadership, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰. Research from the Journal of Applied Psychology shows that even short moments of silence reduce mental fatigue and support better problem-solving. Neuroscience adds to this: silence activates the brain’s default mode network, the system tied to creativity, empathy, and self-awareness. In other words, silence isn’t a gap in the conversation. It’s the space where insight forms. Here’s how to use it with intention: • Set the stage: Let your client or team know that silence is part of your process. It’s not awkward, it’s reflective. • Pause with purpose: After a powerful question, wait. Let the insight catch up to the question. • Resist the urge to fill: When silence shows up, stay present. Watch the body language. Notice what isn’t being said. Because sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say is… nothing at all. #ICW2025 --- 📌 Want more content like this? Follow me Andrew Calvert, PCC Follow Serendipity Engine

Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt someone’s energy, even before they said a word? That feeling comes from body language, the silent but powerful way we communicate without speaking. I was reminded of this in a workshop we ran for senior managers from a pension services company. It focused on giving constructive feedback using the SBI framework, which stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact. The participants had clearly prepared. Their wording was sharp and their structure was sound. On paper, it looked excellent. But as the practice conversations unfolded, something felt off. Their words said one thing, while their bodies told another story. Eyes drifted away. Fingers fidgeted. Legs trembled under the table. One person kept snapping his fingers and thumbs out of nervousness. A few had slouched shoulders & dry lips. Even though they were using the SBI model correctly, the people receiving feedback did not feel reassured. The nonverbal cues revealed discomfort, hesitation, and fear. That experience reminded me of an interview panel I sat on a few years earlier. The first candidate walked in with shoulders slightly hunched, eyes avoiding contact, and hands that would not settle. He answered every question well, yet the confidence he described never appeared. Then another candidate came in. She held her head up, smiled gently, & used natural gestures. The room felt different from the moment she entered. Her presence conveyed calm & connection long before she spoke. It was a clear lesson that our bodies often speak before our mouths do. Body language is more than posture or hand gestures. It shows up in the rhythm of our breathing when we are anxious, in tiny expressions that flicker across our faces, & in the way we mirror someone when we feel in sync. It is the unseen thread that connects people beyond words. In leadership, that thread matters a great deal. A manager can say, I value your contribution, but if their arms are crossed, their tone is flat, or their eyes are on a screen, the words land as hollow. On the other hand, steady eye contact, an open posture, a calm tone, & a simple nod can make difficult feedback feel fair and supportive. When nonverbal signals match intent, communication becomes connection. The encouraging news is that body language can be practiced & strengthened. Standing with a grounded posture, facing people fully when you speak, keeping your arms uncrossed, making kind eye contact, & offering a sincere smile can change how others perceive you and how you feel about yourself. Confidence & warmth have a way of spreading. Reading body language matters as much as expressing it. A pause, a shift in posture, a quick glance away are meaningful cues. When we notice those signals and respond with empathy, conversations move from information exchange to genuine understanding. So next time you are in a meeting, pause for a moment & notice the unspoken stories around you. #nyraleadershipconsulting

Negotiation isn’t just about what you’re saying.   You can lose it without even saying a word.   You can be the most prepared negotiator in the room, know all the right facts, and still lose the deal.   Here’s why:    ↳ Body language speaks louder than your words.   And it could be costing you big.   I have 15 years of coaching leaders through high-stakes negotiations.   And every time I observe how the 𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀 you send make or break a deal.   Look out for these 3 most powerful body language secrets in your next negotiation:   1. Steady eye contact = confidence.     But here’s the catch:    ↳ Too much can come across as confrontational.     More eye contact does not mean more control.   Strategic, brief eye contact at key moments (like when presenting your offer) keeps you in control without being overpowering.     Let your eye contact breathe.   ↳ It's about connection ↳ Not dominance.     2. Posture that commands respect.     Your posture says more than you think.     I’ve watched leaders slouch and lose their power within minutes of a negotiation.    On the flip side, standing tall or sitting upright, with shoulders back, instantly shifts how others perceive you.    Tip: Lean in slightly when listening.   ↳ It shows you’re engaged, without crossing the line into desperation.     ↳ This small adjustment has been the difference in countless deals for my clients.     3. Mirroring—but with finesse.     Mirroring the other person’s body language can create an unspoken connection.   But be subtle.     ↳ I’ve trained countless leaders to avoid overdoing this. ↳ It can feel too obvious and forced when overdone.    But when done well:   ↳ It helps build rapport naturally, ↳ Making the other party feel understood. ↳ And, they start to trust you before they even realize why.   93% of communication in negotiations is non-verbal.   That’s why focusing on body language is key to your success.   If you're struggling with negotiation, send me a message or write a comment down below with your question   Let's learn how to negotiate smarter, not harder. --------------------------------- Hi, I’m Scott Harrison and I help executive and leaders master negotiation & communication in high-pressure, high-stakes situations.  - ICF Coach and EQ-i Practitioner - 24 yrs | 19 countries | 150+ clients   - Negotiation | Conflict resolution | Closing deals 📩 DM me or book a discovery call (link in the Featured section)

🌟 How to Sell Your Value: A Storyteller’s Guide 🌟 Ever wondered what makes someone truly stand out in a crowded field? As an ex-banker turned storyteller, I’ve learned it’s about more than just talent; it's about showcasing your unique journey through storytelling, authenticity, and a touch of improv – with a sprinkle of banking humour for good measure! 🔍 Identify Your Unique Story: Every one of us has a unique narrative. Mine turned from the structured world of banking to the dynamic realm of storytelling. This shift taught me invaluable lessons about adaptability, communication, and the art of engagement. What unique twists has your career path taken? 🎭 Embrace Your Skills: Transitioning from finance to storytelling, I discovered the power of narrative in leadership and relationship-building. What skills have you unearthed in your career transitions now serving as your greatest strengths? 📣 Communicate with Clarity and Passion: Whether addressing a boardroom or an auditorium, communicating our experiences and insights can transform our impact. My banker's precision and a storyteller’s flair have been my formula. What's yours? 💡 Show, Don't Just Tell: In storytelling and business, showing is more powerful than telling. Share real-life examples and success stories where your unique approach has made a tangible difference. 🤝 Build Genuine Connections: Networking is more than exchanging contacts; it's about creating authentic relationships. My journey has taught me the value of listening and engaging with genuine curiosity and empathy. Remember, selling your value isn't about a one-off pitch; it's an ongoing narrative of your unique professional journey. Keep weaving your story and let the world see your unique value. 👉 I'd love to hear about your transitions and transformations. How have they shaped your professional value? Share your stories in the comments, and let’s inspire each other! 🌟 #whatsyourstory #storytelling #knowyourworth #showyourwork #valueproposition